


She Has My Eyes

by OliviaRedfield



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Platonic living together, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliviaRedfield/pseuds/OliviaRedfield
Summary: The Pogues are scattered after college; only JJ and Kiara remain in the Outer Banks. So when the ghosts of a past relationship come back to haunt JJ, the only person he can turn to is Kiara. Will this new challenge bring them closer together or drive them apart?
Relationships: JJ (Outer Banks)/Original Character (past), JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks), Pope (Outer Banks)/Original Character(s), Sarah Cameron/John B. Routledge
Comments: 63
Kudos: 94





	1. Prologue: The Years In Between

**Author's Note:**

> I have a plethora of other things to be writing, but this came to me out of the blue and I wrote like a madwoman until this chapter was finished. I have no idea where it came from, but this idea has me all soft and feeling things.

For about a year after they broke up, any head of long curly blonde hair would cause JJ to do a double take. For about a year and a half, bright green eyes would cause him to pause. Two years after JJ broke up with Savannah Jones? He really didn’t think about her much at all. They had only dated for around six months, after all. In the grand scheme of things, it was a short relationship. They called what they had between them love; it was more like lust. She was beautiful and soft and safe and sweet and she got along with the other Pogues pretty well. He was wild and strong and passionate and free and they fit together quite nicely, each fulfilling what the other needed. Stupid teenagers on the cusp of adulthood looking for a romantic fling to distract them from the future. Plus the sex was great. 

She moved to the mainland to live with her dad after graduation, said something about college and visiting on breaks, but JJ knew it wouldn’t last. He was loyal to a fault when he wanted to be, but a long distance relationship? He wasn’t sure he was cut out for that. So he broke her heart as gently as he could, but she’d still cried and cussed him out - he guessed he deserved that. He said they could still be friends, but when she tried to call a week later, he sent her to voicemail. When she kept calling over the next two weeks, he blocked her. Instagram messages and Snapchats saying _Can we talk? I need to talk to you._ went ignored. They could have stayed friends, but she just wanted to talk about their past, and he wasn’t okay with that. Sure, he missed her probably just as much as she missed him, but their lives just weren’t compatible anymore. It’s just how life goes. So two years after they broke up, Savannah Jones was just a distant, sweet memory to JJ. 

He stayed in the Outer Banks, even as the other Pogues went off to pursue their dreams. Kiara joined the Peace Corps and ended up traipsing around Africa for a couple years. He met up with her in Mexico for a month-long vacation and had the time of his life - he really needed to travel more. Pope went off to Stanford, and on spring break one year, he and JJ toured the West Coast. John B followed Sarah up North for school and JJ visited them, too. Of course, during the holidays they came back to the Outer Banks and it was just like old times, Kiara joining them when her travels allowed it. 

The payout from the gold came in by the time the Pogues turned twenty-one. JJ never knew someone’s bank account could hold that much money, but here he was: richer than most of the stuffy Kooks in Figure Eight. So he bought a house. He didn’t go “full Kook,” like they’d all said they would - he realized he could never be comfortable with that kind of lifestyle - but it was still a nice house, with all the bells and whistles and granite countertops (Sarah made a big deal over those). A little bungalow right on the beach, with three bedrooms and a large bonus room on the second floor - enough room for his friends to stay over, a front yard big enough for a dog to run around in, and a small flower garden. The garden had been Kie’s idea. She’d said, “How do you expect to get a girlfriend if you don’t show her your soft side?” He liked working outside well enough, so the garden ended up being a pretty good idea. 

He opened a boat repair shop, too. He made sure to hire kids no one else would and paid them well. He offered great deals to people on the Cut. Overcharged the Kooks, though. And he only took enough of a paycheck to avoid suspicion. 

He sent money to his dad every month, enough to cover his bills. It assuaged his guilt over not going to visit.

All in all, JJ had it made in the Outer Banks. He surfed in the mornings, worked hard in the afternoons, and spent his evenings with his dog, a mutt named Duke. He could travel anywhere he wanted, any time he wanted, but he always ended up back here, in his little bungalow by the sea. If he’d been more poetic he might have written a book about it. If he’d been artistic, he might have painted a picture. But he wasn’t those things, and that was alright, so he drank in every moment of it as it came. 

***

Pope graduated early from Stanford, of course. The Pogues and the Heywards all flew out to see him walk the stage and cheered louder than anyone else as he got his diploma. His mother cried.

He introduced everyone to his boyfriend, Zack. Heyward’s face was unreadable as he shook his hand, but Mrs. H looked elated. John B’s mouth hung open, while Kiara turned to JJ and held out her hand. He sighed and shuffled through his wallet before handing over a twenty dollar bill.

“You’re gay?” John B finally managed to say.

“Yeah, wait a minute,” Pope replied, turning to a snickering Kie and JJ. “You guys placed a bet on - what exactly? Me being gay?”

“Nah man, nothing like that!” JJ laughed.

“No, yeah, we always knew you were gay,” Kie chuckled. “Or at least bi.”

“You guys knew?” John B looked entirely lost. Sarah elbowed him in the ribs.

“We placed a bet on when you’d come out to us,” Kie continued.

“I said you’d wait until you were thirty,” JJ sighed. “Now I’m out twenty bucks.”

“Again, you guys knew he was gay?” John B cried.

Pope facepalmed. “I’m bisexual, if you’re looking for the technical term.”

Later, Pope announced that he and Zack would be moving in together and staying in California. They both had great jobs lined up, and Zack was working toward his master’s degree. JJ plastered on a smile, but didn’t have much to say. Moving away - or deciding to continue living on the opposite side of the country - was all part of growing up. Pope and Zack promised to visit for the holidays; they made plans to fly out for Christmas, and that was that. 

The next big change came when John B proposed to Sarah. It was not unexpected, though JJ did lose another twenty bucks to Kie when John B decided not to propose right after high school. John B and Sarah got married in the Outer Banks the summer after she graduated college. It was a small ceremony in the island’s only church, and a massive reception back at the Chateau - it was perfect. 

The music was loud, the string lights JJ had impulsively bought years before were lit, and the guests were dancing and drinking. John B and Sarah were in the middle of the makeshift dance floor under the stars, staring into each other’s eyes as if they were the only two in the whole world to exist. JJ couldn’t help but smile. It was their one day to be disgustingly enamored with one another, so he’d allow it for now. A light tap on his shoulder broke his reverie, and he turned to face someone he hadn’t seen in four years. “Savannah!” He cried, and they hugged.

“Hey, JJ,” the blonde smiled. “It’s been a while, but I couldn’t come back to the Outer Banks without saying hi.”

“Shit, yeah, it’s been… four years?” JJ scratched the back of his neck, suddenly realizing he’d reached that stage of life where you randomly run into your high school exes and have to pretend it isn’t awkward. He cleared his throat. “Um, you look good. How have you been?”

Savannah smiled again, slowly, the party lights bouncing off her freckles and her green dress. “Same to you. And uh, I’ve been good. Living in Greensboro, actually.”

“Cool. Did you end up going to school out there?”

“No, I decided college wasn’t for me,” she shrugged.

JJ paused, waiting for an explanation. She had talked about going to college since junior year. It was the whole reason she had moved to the mainland in the first place - what had changed? But she didn’t continue, she just said, “Wanna get a drink?”

They chatted for a short time. She asked where he was working, if he went to school, and he told her about the boat shop and traveling on occasion. If she wondered where he got the money to travel, she didn’t ask, but she did ask if he had settled down. “Nope, just me and Duke,” had been his reply. 

“Oh,” she said. “It’s probably going to sound silly, but once I realized we wouldn’t work out, I kind of thought you and Kie would end up together eventually.”

He looked across the dance floor to where Kiara was dancing with Sarah and some of their other Kook friends. Kie and him? Best not to entertain that thought. He shook his head, a half-smile on his lips. 

Savannah glanced down at her phone to check the time. “Shit,” she muttered. “It’s getting late.”

“Late? It’s only eight thirty,” JJ laughed.

“Yeah,” she chuckled, a little nervously. “But I’ve got a long drive in the morning.” She paused, as if contemplating something, then said, “Hey, this was nice. Can we - can we catch up again sometime? A lot has happened to both of us in these four years.”

JJ thought about saying no. She was a high school fling, there wasn’t much of a point in catching up. But she seemed eager to see him again. It couldn’t hurt. “Uh, yeah, sure. Is your number still the same? I’ll text you.”

She scribbled down a number on a napkin and handed it to him. “New number. If you’re ever out in Greensboro, let me know.”

And JJ had truly planned to text her. He meant to plan a time to meet up and find out what exactly had changed all the plans she spoke about four years ago, but he never made it to Greensboro. He never even got close to Raleigh, which would have been a reasonable half-way point, except for one time, when he flew out to meet Kie in Thailand - that had been an adventure. Another year passed and the idea of meeting back up with Savannah had left JJ’s mind completely.

***

John B and Sarah moved to Florida shortly after they got married. A marine life conservation effort contacted Sarah about heading up their public relations and the opportunity was too good to pass up. They refurbished the Chateau as a vacation rental and packed up within a month. JJ - and Duke the Mutt - drove with them down to Florida and helped them get settled in. This time around, JJ didn’t bother plastering a fake smile on his face, even though they promised they would visit often. Sarah could tell just how disappointed he was. “Hey,” she said the morning before he left to return to the Outer Banks. They were sipping coffee in the sunlit breakfast nook off the kitchen. “You and Duke could always pack up and move down here with us?” She gestured around indicating their almost extravagantly large house. The Kook life suited Sarah to a T and John B was just along for the ride. 

JJ chuckled softly, “You know this ain’t my scene, Princess.”

“Worth a shot,” she shrugged. “John B is going to miss you a ton.”

JJ nodded. “OBX is just a plane ride away.”

Sarah hummed in agreement. “You know,” she mused. “We’ll be back. Nowhere but Kildare has ever felt quite right to me, and I think for all the Pogues. Even Kie and Pope.” She let out a quiet laugh. “I give it two years before Pope has convinced Zack to move back East with him.”

“I say one,” JJ responded evenly.

“Twenty bucks?” They shook on it. Sarah sighed contentedly. “Really, I’m going to enjoy being here, but… it’s not a forever deal.”

JJ nodded.

“Just wait until we all start having kids,” she continued. “We’ll especially want to be closer to home then.”

JJ pulled a face, “Y’all are more than welcome to have all the kids you want. I think me and Duke are just fine on our own.” He reached down to pat the dog’s head.

“JJ and kids?” John B laughed, entering the kitchen. “That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

Sarah laughed, “I think it would be cute! Come on, JJ. If you find the right girl to settle down with, can’t you see yourself having a family?”

JJ shook his head slowly, but he was smiling. “Can’t see it. ‘Sides, I’ve already got a pretty decent family. They’re moving hundreds of miles away to save the whales or some shit, but they’re still family.”

Sarah shed a couple tears as they said goodbye a few moments later. She made JJ promise to visit, and he did on the condition that they visited, too. 

***

Kiara had hit the ground running after high school, taking off on a plane and not looking back. She had set foot on every continent, even Antarctica. She had ridden camels and elephants and volunteered in rainforests and savannahs. She had toured cities and castles and small villages and farms. She had seen quite a bit of the world, and even though there were still a thousand more adventures to be had, she knew, after five years of traveling, she was ready for a break. Not the kind of break where she showed up for a holiday, or a graduation, or a wedding. The kind of break that lasted for months or years probably. Where she slowed down and went home and made a life for herself and maybe even dated someone, definitely got her own place and who knows what else. She could always pack up again and there were always vacations to be had, but for now, the Outer Banks were calling. 

As she approached the gate, she noticed that JJ had kept up the garden - Kie’s Garden as he had always called it. It looked nice. Duke was outside and he barked a happy greeting. _Good_ , she thought. She had been worried she was showing up too early, but if Duke was outside, that meant JJ was already awake. She made her way to the front door, raising her hand to knock, but before she got a chance, the door flew open and JJ engulfed her in one of his classic bear hugs. “Holy shit, Kie, you didn’t tell me you were coming back!” He cried excitedly. His hair was wet and he smelled of the ocean - he had been surfing. 

She giggled, disentangling herself from him and dropping her massive backpack just inside the door. He motioned for her to follow him to the kitchen, where she smelled something cooking. “I didn’t tell anyone,” she said. “It was a last minute decision. What’s for breakfast?”

“No one can stay away from OBX for too long,” he said, waving a spatula at her. “And eggs and sausage. Coffee?”

She hummed in response, sitting on a stool by the counter. Duke nudged her knee and she absently began stroking his ears. 

“Are you staying at your parents’?” JJ asked.

Kie made a face. Her parents had wanted her to attend college, get a degree in a _useful field_ , find a nice person to marry. Her decision to collect experiences instead of college credits had been hotly contested and her relationship with them since had been less than optimal as a result. “Nah, I don’t think so,” she said finally. “I wanna find my own place.”

“You can always crash here until you find that place,” JJ offered, setting a plate of food and cup of coffee in front of her. 

“Thanks, J.”

The two fell into a routine quickly. Kiara joined him surfing most mornings, even as the summer months gave way to fall. They took turns cooking meals. She did her fair share of the house work and was equally surprised and impressed that JJ did his fair share as well. They both took Duke down to the beach to play in the evenings. JJ helped her find listings for houses and condos in the area, and she helped him balance the books for his repair shop. 

Christmas came, and so did the scattered Pogues. Pope and Zack stayed with the Heywards and John B and Sarah went home to the Chateau. But even after all this time, the Chateau easily reverted back to its original function as Pogue Clubhouse, as all of them went back to hang out. JJ’s smile couldn’t have grown any wider as he watched all of his friends joke and talk as though nothing had changed.

Kiara laughed along to some story Zack shared with Sarah as he gestured wildly, when she noticed a distinctly bright bit of metal glint off the lights. “Zachary!” Kiara cried, interrupting his story and jumping up to grab his left hand. “What is this?” She pointed to the thin silver band adorning his ring finger. “Pope Heyward, are you two engaged?”

Zack blushed as Pope laughed, “We were going to wait until Christmas to announce it formally.”

“Dude, you thought you could just not fucking tell us you got fucking engaged?” JJ yelled, wrapping Pope in a headlock in his excitement.

Sarah and Kie began chattering about wedding plans and gushing over the ring and begging for the story of the engagement. 

“Okay, okay, fine, JJ, let me go!” Pope cried. The other Pogues gathered close around the newly engaged couple like children on Christmas waiting for the story. “It’s not some crazy story,” Pope continued. “I just woke up one morning and decided, fuck it, we’ve been together three years at this point, why wait?”

“He didn’t even have a ring at this point,” Zack chimed in.

“Right, so we went to the park where we had our first date and I just asked.” Pope smiled. John B and JJ let out a chorus of overly-sappy _awws._

“And _then_ we went and got a ring,” Zack laughed. 

Kie and Sarah chanted, “Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!” And when they did, the group erupted into wild cheers. 

The mood for the rest of the evening was celebratory, drinks flowing. By the time midnight rolled around, the Pogues were quite tipsy. Even Duke sat in the corner nodding off as the evening wore down. “I haven’t drank like that in a long time,” Sarah giggled sleepily. 

“Me either,” Zack groaned good-naturedly. He shifted in his seat on the couch, so he could catch Pope’s eye, “Sorry, babe, but I’m no good to drive.”

Pope was dozing on his fiancé’s shoulder, but he stirred just enough to say, “Yeah, me either.”

“Stay here!” John B said, too loudly. “Just like old times!”

“Nah, but almost,” JJ said. “Old times included weed and you and Sarah sneaking off to your room early.”

Sarah already flushed cheeks went redder, but she giggled. “I mean,” she said. “John B and I can still sneak off if you really want it to be like old times.”

“Hey, look at her making jokes!” JJ laughed. “She’s finally one of us.”

“J,” Kie moved one of her feet off JJ’s lap and nudged his chest. “You’re the only one who makes inappropriate jokes. Usually.”

Even though they were all older, it did feel like old times, all sleeping under the same roof. The next morning was sleepy, cold and gray. Kie made a cup of tea, and went out to the porch, wrapped in a quilt. Sarah joined her shortly after. “You sleep okay?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Kie smiled, offering Sarah a corner of the quilt to wrap around her own shoulders. “JJ let me take the pullout. Though he was offended when Duke chose to sleep at my feet instead of his.”

Sarah chuckled, then said, “So you’re still living with him, right?”

Kie nodded, taking another sip of her tea.

“You’ve been back since, what, July? I’d have thought you’d have your own place by now.” Sarah had a gleam in her eyes that made Kiara nervous.

“I just haven’t found a place I like,” Kie insisted. 

“But you found a job you like.”

That was true. Kie had found two jobs she adored. She volunteered with a group that protected sea turtle habitats and she taught private music lessons a few days a week at an academy of music on the mainland, right off the ferry. Kie sighed. “Yeah, I guess… we’re the only two Pogues left around here. It’s amazing when y’all come back to visit, but it gets pretty fucking lonely when you’re not here. We enjoy one another’s company.”

“Hey, no judgement here,” Sarah smiled. “I will warn you: we all have bets going on when you two will just admit your feelings and get together.”

“Not gonna happen, Sar,” Kie laughed. “No feelings to admit.”

The holidays went by peacefully. Christmas Eve was spent Pogue Style with lots of booze and games and a very sweet and _totally mature_ gift exchange. Christmas Day was spent with each Pogue’s families, and if anyone was surprised that JJ went to the Carreras for Christmas dinner, they didn’t say anything. 

The Pogues rang in the New Year at the Chateau. As the countdown ticked to zero the couples were too busy kissing the new year in to notice the kiss JJ pressed to Kie’s cheek. As their first act after midnight, John B and Sarah announced that, after almost two years in Florida, they would be moving back to the Outer Banks that summer.

“Here I was thinking you were announcing you’re pregnant,” Kie said, a faux pout on her lips.

“With the amount of alcohol you’ve seen me consume this season?” Sarah laughed. “Give it a little more time, Kie.”

The holiday season closed with the Pogues parting ways once again, albeit very temporarily. Kie went back home with JJ and began looking in earnest for a home for herself.

***

A late January Sunday found JJ napping on the couch. The bright North Carolina sun streaming through the windows could almost be confused with summertime, if the air weren’t laced with a biting chill. Duke stretched out across JJ’s feet, dog and master snoring softly. JJ shifted as a flash of yellow curls danced across his dream. A pair of green - no, blue eyes blinked at him slowly and he sat straight up, the dream fading as he came back into consciousness. He looked quizzically at Duke, as if the mutt could explain what he just dreamed, but the dog just snuffled before sighing and continuing his own nap. 

The lock turned, and Kiara came bustling through the front door. She had been at an obligatory once-a-month Sunday brunch with her parents, so her jeans were not torn and her sweater was not oversized and not JJ’s, contrary to her traditional winter wardrobe, and, of course, brunch had run long. Her mouth was set in a hard line and her brows were furrowed, but when she caught sight of JJ, hair on end from his nap and the same confused expression he’d just given Duke still plastered on his face, her eyes softened. “Hey, everything okay?” She asked. 

He cleared the sleep out of his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, just had a weird dream. How was brunch?”

“Um, good,” she said, then paused. She took off her coat and hat and draped it over the chair by the door. She crossed to the couch, sitting where JJ’s head had been. He laid back on her lap and she laced her fingers through his hair. An outsider would have smiled at their casual intimacy, but it was just a Pogue thing, right? They’d always been touchy-feely. 

“Just good?” JJ mumbled, eyes threatening to close again as Kie continued running her fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah, so,” she paused again, then her words came out in a rush. “So you know my mom is still friends with Mrs. Jones, right? Savannah's mom?”

“Savannah?” JJ’s still half-asleep brain was struggling to catch up.

“Savannah Jones. Your, uh, your ex from senior year. She was at John B and Sarah’s wedding. I saw you talking with her.”

“Yeah, yeah,” JJ sat up, and turned to face her. “Yeah, I know. What about her?”

“Um,” Kie played with the end of one of her curls, now that her hands were unoccupied with his hair. “So on Friday, Savannah was in a terrible car accident. A drunk driver hit her head on.”

JJ’s brow furrowed, taking in what Kie said. A car accident. So she was hurt or worse… He hadn’t thought about Savannah in years, so the guilt he felt now was uncalled for, right? Two years ago, she’d just asked to catch up to be polite, so it wasn’t a big deal that he’d never contacted her. It was just something people said when they hadn’t seen each other in ages. 

“JJ, she didn’t even make it to the hospital.” Tears shone in Kie’s eyes as she finished her statement. 

“She’s dead,” JJ said. It wasn’t a question, he knew what Kie had meant. Yeah, now his hesitation to text her felt like a big deal. A big fucking deal. 

“J, I’m so sorry,” Kie said. “I know it was almost six years ago, but it’s still hard when someone you cared about… goes like that.”

“Yeah, it sucks.” He didn’t love Savannah. He figured he probably never loved her, not truly. But he had cared about her. He’d never wanted her to get hurt, and to die in that way… no one deserved that.

“God, she is - was our age,” Kiara said. “She was only twenty-three.”

“Shit.” A lump had lodged itself in JJ’s throat, completely unbidden. 

“It’s okay to be upset, JJ. You didn’t have to love her to mourn her.”

The other Pogues called when they heard the news. Pope first, then John B and Sarah. Each of them took the news hard, in their own way. They had liked Savannah when she and JJ were together. Sarah had kept in contact with her the most, texting her every once in a while. Each of the Pogues regretted that they hadn’t maintained that friendship, but what was there to do now?

“JJ, how are you handling this?” Sarah asked, point blank. 

“I’m fine,” he said, and he meant it. 

As the rest of the week wore on, it proved true. He sent a card to Savannah’s parents, at Kie’s urging, since they couldn’t make it all the way to Greensboro for the funeral. His mood was notably more somber, and, of course, when others around Kildare mentioned her name, he seemed appropriately affected. But, otherwise he was alright. Kiara watched him like a hawk to ensure he didn’t fall back on old habits (when John B and Sarah went missing, he nearly drank himself to death), but he managed to cope just fine. At the end of the week, Kiara asked, “Are you really handling everything okay?”

“I think so,” he said genuinely. “This is a shit situation, and it’s weird to think about never seeing her again. I feel bad for her parents.”

“From what I heard, she didn’t have a great relationship with either of them,” Kie said. “My mom said they’re full of regret for not fixing things before… she died.” 

“That’s weird,” JJ said.

“What? It’s normal to regret things you said or didn’t say when you lose someone.”

“No,” JJ insisted. “She was really close with both of her parents in high school, even though they split up. Her mom was a little pissed that she chose to live with her dad for college, but they always worked things out. Least dysfunctional family I knew.”

“Oh, that is odd,” Kie mused. “Maybe it had something to do with her deciding not to go to college.”

JJ opened his mouth, as if to speculate further, when the doorbell rang. No one they knew used door bells, so for a moment JJ and Kie stared at each other, mouths open. The bell rang again, and Duke let out a single bark in protest. JJ moved to open the door, Duke on his heels. 

A tired, but professional looking woman stood at the door. By her side was a small girl with messy curly blonde hair and big green - no, blue eyes. “Are you Jesse Maybank?” the woman asked.

“Yes, and you are?” 

Kiara came up behind him. “J!” She hissed, indicating the little girl in front of them. He gave her a quizzical look, not understanding what she was trying to silently communicate. 

“Oh, yes,” the woman said. “My name is Carrie Myers.” She showed them a card. “I’m with Child Services.”

The furrow in JJ’s brow deepened, and he didn’t say anything. 

“Come in,” Kiara said, realizing JJ would keep them on the doorstep forever. “I’m Kiara.” She extended her hand toward the woman, Carrie, who shuffled her papers around to return the handshake. Kie gestured for them to follow her into the living room, and sent Duke into the yard. The little girl slipped off her shoes and set down the backpack she held, making sure it sat neatly by her shoes. She walked to the nearest chair and climbed up into it. Kiara crouched next to her chair. “What’s your name?” She asked.

The little girl smiled shyly, and glanced at Carrie, who nodded. She said, “My name is Sage Lynn Maybank.”

Kiara’s eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline, causing the smile to fall from the little girl’s face. 

“What?” JJ said, fixing a glare on Carrie. He looked ready to explode. 

Kiara coughed, frantically thinking of a way to remove the little girl from the room before JJ started yelling. “Hey, Sage, do you like puppies? We have a really cool puppy and he loves to play.” She turned to Carrie, and asked, “Is that okay?”

Carrie nodded, and said to JJ, “Mr. Maybank, why don’t we talk on the porch?”

Kiara took Sage to a far corner of the yard where she showed her how to throw a tennis ball for Duke to chase. Within a few minutes the cold January air was filled with happy yelps from Duke and giggles from Sage. 

Carrie turned to JJ, her mouth opened as she began to speak, but he interrupted her, “Is this some kind of joke? How does that kid have my name?”

“I’m so sorry to spring this on you. Our records indicated you knew about her.” She shuffled through her papers and presented a file with Sage’s name at the top. “Her mother is - was Savannah Jones, recently deceased.”

“Shit,” JJ breathed. He scanned the document looking for her birthday. He did some quick math - she was born eight months after Savannah moved to the mainland, right after high school. “She’s almost five?” He asked. 

Carrie nodded. “If you look here, you’ll see you are listed as her father on the birth certificate. I’m guessing Ms. Jones forged your signature?”

JJ shrugged, “I had no idea she was pregnant.” He eyed the woman in front of him skeptically, as if he didn’t believe anything she’d said. 

She sighed, “Again, I’m sorry. You should have been contacted by my department previously, so I assumed you were expecting us.”

“I’m sorry, Ms-“

“You can just call me Carrie.”

He nodded. “Carrie. I didn’t hear from anyone in DCS.”

“Shit,” she muttered. Then a blush crept into her cheeks as she realized what she said. “Oh, sorry. I’m new in my department and they are so disorganized. It’s honestly a miracle we found you in the first place. Anyway, you should have been notified that, as her father, you still have rights. Now that Ms. Jones is deceased, you are Sage’s legal guardian.”

“What?” JJ cried. “No, no, no. Even if I am her - what about her grandparents? Savannah’s parents?”

“Well, if you choose to sign away your rights, they would be the next people we would contact, but to be quite frank, we already know they want little to do with her. You’re her best option, Mr. Maybank.”

“Best option?” He laughed harshly. “Listen, lady, I know you don’t know me and you’re just doing your job, but if you think I’m that kid’s best option, something is seriously twisted. I’m not cut out for this kind of thing.”

Carrie set her mouth in a hard line, her professional manner wavering. “Well, listen to me, Jesse. Can I call you Jesse?”

“I prefer JJ-“

“Jesse, I did do some research on you before bringing that little girl here. I know you were in and out of the system for years before settling with one of the finest foster families North Carolina has seen-“

“That information is sealed,” JJ interrupted.

“We have our ways,” she insisted. “The Heywards were the best thing to happen to you. Before that you were a mess. I know about your record, even if it was expunged when you turned eighteen. And I know what, or rather _who_ started you on that path. Now, think. Think very hard, Jesse, and imagine where your life would be if the Heywards didn’t step up like they did. Ms. Jones worked her ass off to provide for that little girl, and I would hate to see her get chewed up and spit out by a system that almost failed you.”

JJ’s lips parted as if to respond with something snarky, but the words died on his tongue. He didn’t have to try very hard to imagine where he would have been. He saw where that path led his father, his uncles, his cousins. Nearly every day since he had been placed with the Heywards he envisioned the life he could have led. Whether or not Sage was really his daughter - and all evidence pointed to the conclusion she was - he couldn’t be the reason another kid cycled through house after house, looking for home. “I, uh,” he stuttered. “I can’t promise anything.”

“I understand,” Carrie said. “Again, I’m sorry my department messed up. It’s unorthodox , but the family Sage is currently staying with is just a ferry ride away, and they will gladly let her stay another night. If you could please have an answer for me by tomorrow afternoon, that would be great. Then we would have time to make arrangements one way or another.” She handed him her card.

JJ nodded absently, still clutching the paperwork Carrie had handed him. 

“I haven’t told Sage who you are yet, but she’s a smart girl. She’ll figure it out eventually,” Carrie said, almost to herself. She stood and crossed to the small pathway leading from the porch to the gate. “Sage,” she called. “It’s time to go. Let’s get your backpack.”

“Okay!” The little girl called. She cooed at Duke and gave him a million kisses before running back to the house to get her bag. She was a ball of energy. When she came out of the house she ran back to Kiara and threw her arms around her legs. “Thank you for playing with me, Miss Kie!” She cried. And then they were getting in Carrie’s car and driving away. JJ hadn’t moved from his place on the porch. 

It wasn’t until Duke came and nudged his knee that he realized Kie was waiting for him to come inside. He moved robotically to the couch and when he sank into its cushions he felt smaller than he had felt in a long time.

“Well?” Kie said, pointing to the papers in his hands. 

“It’s a girl,” he chuckled dryly, handing them to her. 

“Shit,” she sighed. “How did you manage to keep that secret? That Savannah had your baby?”

JJ winced at her words. “I didn’t know.” His voice sounded impossibly childlike. 

“She never told you? You didn’t know she was pregnant?”

He shook his head. “I must have knocked her up right before she moved and…” He thought back to all of the missed calls and messages from her right after they had broken up. Then later when she asked to catch up. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I think she tried to tell me, but I ignored her calls. I wanted a clean break.”

Kie pulled a face. “Nice. And you didn’t think maybe there would be consequences to that one time you forgot to wrap it up?”

He chuckled and shoved her shoulder playfully. Her attempt to lighten the mood was successful. “I was eighteen, Kie. I wasn’t thinking clearly at all times.”

“Oh, you mean you were high most of the time,” she laughed. Then her face dropped. “So they’re sure she’s yours?”

“Did you see her?” He groaned, the mood returning to its dismal origins. 

Kie nodded. “If her hair was shorter she’d be the spitting image of you. Energy level to match.”

“Her birthday is eight months after Savannah left.”

“So no doubt about it then,” she sighed. “Wow. What are you gonna do?”

JJ jumped up and began pacing, running his fingers through his hair. “Hell, if I know. I’m her _legal guardian,_ so they’re expecting me to take care of her.”

“What about Savannah’s parents?”

“They can have her if I sign away my rights, but they don’t really want her, so chances are she ends up in the system.”

“Ouch, guess we know why their relationship with Savannah was strained,” Kie said, then paused. Her next words came out slowly, “So, I guess we need to turn that third room into a little princess paradise, huh?”

JJ blanched and dropped back onto the couch. “Kie, I can’t do this.”

Kie set her face determinedly. “Yes, you can do this, JJ. First of all, she’s your daughter and I know for a fact you won’t let anyone else take care of her, even if you just met her, because that’s who you are. Second, you’re not doing any of this alone. I haven’t moved out yet, so I’ll still be around to help out - assuming DCS is alright with it. And John B and Sarah will be moving back up here soon. I think Sarah is looking for a way to tone down John B’s baby fever, and what better way to do that than some good old fashioned babysitting?”

JJ let himself chuckle, though it came out strained. “This is a terrible decision,” he laughed.

“No, the terrible decision was you deciding to have unprotected sex about six years ago,” Kie teased. “But Sage seems like a wonderful little girl. She’s the best kind of surprise. It’ll be an adventure.”

JJ looked at the papers Kie had discarded beside her on the couch. The small thumbnail of Sage smiling so wide her cheeks covered her eyes stared right back at him. She looked like an adventure alright. JJ had never wanted children, and here he was thrown into fatherhood with an almost-five-year-old. Maybe it was a terrible decision, but if he was being honest with himself, he had no choice. He’d known as soon as he heard her name that there was no getting rid of the little girl with curly blonde hair and green, no blue eyes. 

“Okay, we’re doing this,” he said to Kie, eyes wide. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, anyway, there we have it. I’ve always liked the idea of JJ being some random girl’s baby-daddy and, of course, I needed Kiara to be along for the ride.  
> Let me know what you think, and as always, you can come scream at me on Tumblr: @largedenominationsplease!


	2. Chapter 1: The First Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first week with Sage Lynn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a beast to write, but I am honestly so proud of it now. (Also, thank you to Alexis for beta'ing)   
> Now, I have SO MUCH motivation to finish this fic (thank you jiara jubilee).

The word  _ panic _ didn’t seem to fully encompass JJ’s state of mind after he ended the call with Carrie. He turned to Kiara, eyes wide, “Shit, Kie, what am I getting into?”

“You’re panicking, J,” she said, holding up her hands as if to calm him down. 

“No shit.” His voice cracked a bit. He raked his hands through his hair to hide their slight tremble. He pulled out his vape pen, taking a long drag before dropping to the couch with a sigh. “She’ll be here at two tomorrow.”

Kiara arched her eyebrow at the presence of the vape pen, simultaneously thinking it was better than his previous smoking habits and that he should probably quit altogether once Sage moved in. “Okay,” she said. “What do we need to do to get ready for her?”

“Um,” JJ leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. “Carrie said she needs a room.”

Kie rolled her eyes as she nodded. “That’s kind of a given, JJ. But we can redo that awful junky room you call an office. It’s a blank slate, so you could let Sage decorate it how she wants.”

JJ nodded, then groaned, “She’s going to want pink or glitter or some shit. I don’t want a pink room in my house.”

Kie chuckled softly. Of course, he would fixate on something like that. “I can promise you it wouldn’t be pink forever. I think I changed the color of my room a dozen times growing up. Besides, I can’t imagine JJ Maybank’s daughter wanting a pink room.”

The color drained from JJ’s face at Kie’s words.  _ His daughter. _ He had a daughter, whom he had less than twenty-four hours to prepare for. Most people have nine months of preparation when becoming parents - he’d been given a day. His stomach churned. 

As she watched JJ go pale, Kie pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands to hide just how much she was shaking. She couldn’t let on for a second that she was just as freaked out as he was. Their lives changed in such a short amount of time it was terrifying, and, of course, she didn’t have to be involved in this whatsoever, but there was no way JJ could handle this by himself, and she wasn’t about to let him. JJ had never been secretive about the fact that he never wanted to have kids. In a fit of uncharacteristic vulnerability - they’d had a few of those since she came to stay with him - he’d told her he couldn’t stand subjecting another human being to the life he had lived growing up. Family history and cycles and all that; it was just better to avoid the possibility of bringing another person into that all together. Kiara had faith that JJ would never be anything like his own father, but she also knew he didn’t have that faith in himself. He leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. She could say all the right things and he still wouldn’t be able to listen, so she needed back up. She stood, clapping her hands together causing JJ to jump. “You need to talk to the guys,” she said. “They’re going to find out eventually and you know they’ll have your ass if it doesn’t come from you. Besides, they might have some advice. While you’re calling them, I’ll order some dinner. What do you want to eat?”

After a few moments of discussion, they settled on the Chinese place a few minutes away because they delivered. Kie placed the call while JJ went out on the back deck. The waning light cast shadows on the beach and JJ sat for a moment watching the dark, winter ocean. The clouds above were thick. It would rain tonight, meaning the waves in the morning would be perfect. Maybe he could convince Kie to go surfing with him. He took another drag from his vape pen and pulled out his phone, texting John B and Pope:  _ you got a minute? _ Instead of a response, Pope video called the both of them. 

“Hey man, you good?” Pope asked as JJ answered.

“Hey, yeah, what’s up?” John B chimed in as his face appeared on the screen. 

“Um, hey,” JJ started to say.

“Shit, dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” John B said.

“I guess you could put it that way,” JJ responded, his voice strained.

Kie walked out onto the deck and pulled a chair close to JJ’s. She leaned over and waved at the guys through the screen. “Dinner will be here in fifteen,” she said to JJ. “Did you tell them?”

“No, I-“

“Tell us what?” John B asked. 

“Are you two finally together?” Pope asked, hopefully.

“What?” JJ scoffed, while Kie simultaneously said, “No!”

“Oh,” Pope settled back awaiting the news with a genuinely confused expression.

JJ took a shaky breath and glanced at Kie. She nodded supportively. “So, you guys remember Savannah, right? Savannah Jones?”

“Um, yeah, dude,” John B said, brows furrowing together. “We all already know about the accident…”

“It’s not about that.” JJ shook his head. “I mean, it  _ is _ kind of about that-“

Kie placed a hand on his arm, interrupting him. “Just tell them,” she said softly.

“Shit, okay.” He turned back to the phone screen and his next words tumbled out. “Savannah had a kid, a daughter.”

“Okay, wow,” John B said. “I feel for the kid. But what does that have to do with you?”

“JJ,” Pope said, seriously. “JJ, she’s not yours is she?” 

John B looked from Pope’s image on his screen, to JJ’s, eyes growing wider the longer JJ stayed silent. Finally, JJ nodded, “Yeah, she’s… mine.” It was the first time he allowed himself to say it out loud.

“She’s-” John B spluttered. “You- wow.” In the background, a door opened. “You knocked her up? When?”

“Knocked who up?” Sarah cried, coming on-screen behind John B with atrocious timing. She looked at her best friend seated by JJ. “Kie?”

“Oh my god, no!” Kie responded, firmly. She could have laughed at this trainwreck of a conversation, but JJ’s deer-in-the-headlights expression made the laugh catch in her throat.

“Savannah Jones had your baby?” Pope asked, unnecessarily. Sarah’s eyebrows shot up. 

“I believe that’s been established, Pope,” JJ snapped, defenses on the rise. 

“What happened to your mantra?” John B chuckled. “‘Wrap it before you tap it?’”

“It was five and a half years ago!” JJ cried.

“So it happened when you two were together in high school?” Sarah asked, struggling to piece together what little she knew.

“Yeah, hold on a second, guys,” Kie said. She ran back into the house and grabbed Sage’s paperwork. She held up the little girl’s picture. “Her name is Sage. She’s four. She’ll turn five in-“ she glanced at the page. “-two weeks.”

“She’s a carbon copy of you, JJ,” Sarah whispered, eyes wide. “Holy shit, you and Sav made a cute kid.”

“Wait, she’s almost five,” John B said, slow to catch on. “Why are we just now hearing about her?”

“You didn’t know,” Pope said, finally finished processing the news with questions. 

JJ shook his head slowly. “Not until she showed up at my door a few hours ago with Child Services.”

“Child Services?” John B questioned. Pope nodded, already fitting the pieces together in his brain. 

JJ opened his mouth to respond, but the words stuck in his chest. His thoughts were too jumbled up. He closed his mouth again. His heart beat like it might burst from his chest, and he wondered why saying those words aloud was so damn scary. It would happen whether he spoke about it or not. 

Kie came to the rescue, leaning in and responding to John B, “Sage is going to move here. JJ is assuming full custody.”

“Holy shit,” John B breathed. “Seriously, dude?”

JJ nodded and Kie said, “She’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Sarah said, her voice rising a pitch. “Do you even have anything a four-year-old girl would need? Do you have a bed for her? What about clothes, and toys? Do you know where she’ll go to school?”

“Sarah!” Kie cried, gesturing to a very pale JJ. She lowered her voice, “We have a temporary solution for most of that. We don’t know what she’ll bring with her. She doesn’t even start school until August, so I think we have time to figure that out.”

“I hadn’t even thought about school,” JJ muttered. 

Sarah nodded once, holding up her hands in mock surrender. “I’m sorry. This is… a big deal, huh?”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” John B said with a smirk. “Out of all of us, JJ was the most likely to knock up a random girl.”

Pope caught on to John B’s attempt to ease the tension. “Hate to say it, JJ, but he’s right. It’s just statistics.” 

“Yeah, I mean, what are the odds Pope gets a girl pregnant any time soon?” Sarah chuckled. 

The Pogues spent hours catching up. Pope updated everyone on wedding plans, while Sarah and John B discussed moving back at the beginning of summer. Despite the heaviness hanging over JJ’s head, he relaxed a bit at the normalcy of the rest of the conversation. His life was changing, but these people were his constants. Before they hung up, Pope said, “JJ, you’ll be a great dad. Call anytime you need anything.”

“Thanks, Pope.” 

The Pogues waved goodbye and JJ’s phone screen went dark. He took the trash from their dinner inside. 

Sarah texted Kiara the moment the video call ended. 

**Sar-bear [8:36]:** _ Every time you talked about JJ’s kid you said “we.” What is that all about? _

**Sar-bear [8:36]:** _ are you and him FINALLY together????? _

**Kie [8:37]:** _ Will y’all stop with that?? No! _

**Kie [8:38]:** _ He just needs support and I’m here. _

**Kie [8:38]:** _ You think JJ Maybank knows the first thing about kids? _

**Sar-bear [8:39]:** _ Fair point. OMG I can’t believe JJ was the first of us to have kids! _

**Kie [8:40]:** _ I’m just as surprised as y’all. _

**Kie [8:40]:** _ Speaking of, when will you and John B pop out Baby Pogue??? _

**Sar-bear [8:41]:** _ Shut your mouth, bitch.  _

**Sar-bear [8:42]:** _ Anyway, you have Baby Pogue coming to live with you tomorrow!! Sage is such a cutie.  _

**Sar-bear [8:43]:** _ Let me know if y’all need anything. I will drop everything and be up there ASAP. _

**Kie [8:44]:** _ You’re the best. Love ya! _

***

Rain poured the entire night, but the ocean was oddly calm when morning came. So much for surfing. Kie probably would have told JJ he was looking for a reason to avoid cleaning out the third bedroom. She probably would have been right (as though delaying the preparations for Sage would delay her actual arrival). JJ sighed, looking out over the beach, the sun just beginning to turn the sky pink - damn, he would never tire of that view, no matter how early it came. He downed the rest of his coffee.

JJ thought that, perhaps, he had let the third bedroom get a little too junky. Originally, he’d thrown a desk and a futon in the room and dubbed it his ‘office,’ but ultimately, it had become a catch-all for the stuff he didn’t know what to do with. It took most of the morning to clean it out. The desk went upstairs into the bonus room, the old surfboards went into the crawl space under the house, and the rest of the junk went into the trash. They opted to keep the futon in the room until they could buy Sage a proper bed. Kie made it up with the extra set of sheets from her room (apparently, it was wise to keep extra sheets on hand, or at least that’s what she had told JJ when she moved in). JJ took a slow look around the now-bare room, anxiety gnawing at his stomach. “She’s going to hate it,” he said. They were the only words cycling through his mind. “Aren’t kid’s rooms supposed to be, I don’t know, happier-looking?”

“It’s a little drab,” Kiara agreed. “But that’s why we’re taking her shopping in a couple days.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it doesn’t have to be perfect right away.”

JJ sighed and nodded.

Duke followed on JJ’s heels as he paced from the window to the front door countless times. Two o’clock approached agonizingly slow, but finally, Carrie’s car pulled up in front of JJ’s house, and she and Sage approached the door. 

Sage looked like an entirely different girl when she walked into JJ’s living room for the second time in her life. Her shy smile had been replaced with a worried frown, her sense of ease at meeting new people swapped for reservedness, her sparkling, wonder-filled eyes darkened with uncertainty. She stood by the chair in the entryway, clutching a small pink stuffed pig, wide eyes inspecting the room from her vantage point. Carrie crouched next to her and said softly, “Why don’t you put your backpack down? It probably feels heavy.”

Sage shook her head vigorously and tightened her grip on her pig.

“It will sit right here on the ground,” Carrie pointed to the spot by the chair. “And you can have it anytime you want.”

Sage allowed her shoulders to relax just enough for Carrie to remove her backpack and place it on the floor. Carrie took her hand and led her into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Sage climbed up next to her and sat close, staring at her feet, until Duke came up and nudged her foot. Her eyes lit up slightly as she recognized the dog.

JJ stood awkwardly at a distance, unsure what to say or do, but Kie moved to sit at the opposite end of the couch. Carrie said, “Hey, Sage, you remember meeting Kiara yesterday?”

Sage nodded and said, “Miss Kie.” She pointed to the dog. “And that’s Duke.”

Kie nodded and then gestured to JJ. “And that’s JJ. You didn’t get to talk to him very much yesterday, but he’s excited to meet you, too.”

Sage visibly relaxed when JJ offered her a half-smile and a small wave, but she didn’t move from her spot on the couch. Duke ran off into the kitchen, and returned shortly with a well-loved stuffed toy, laying it on Sage’s lap. She picked it up and tossed it, Duke taking off after it. 

Carrie stood and crossed to JJ, gesturing for Kiara to follow. “I’ve told Sage everything I can,” she said softly among the three of them. “She knows you’re her father,” she indicated JJ. “But she’s so young, I don’t know if she fully grasps what that means. She’s a brave girl, but she’s had a rough week and it’s catching up with her.”

JJ nodded. “We didn’t expect this to be easy.” Kiara gave him a proud smile. He was handling this well. 

Carrie looked almost relieved at JJ’s words. “As long as you’re realistic about all of this. Can I see the rest of the house? Especially her room. I know not everything will be perfect, but it’s all part of the job.”

Sage allowed Kie to take her hand as they toured the house. Carrie took notes as she inspected each room, making sure to remind them to lock up cleaning supplies and medicine. She approved of Sage’s room on the condition that they buy her some proper furniture in the coming week. “We were going to let Sage pick out what she wanted in here,” Kie said. She glanced down at the little girl. “Does that sound like fun?”

Sage nodded. She let go of Kie’s hand long enough to place her stuffed pig on the futon and smooth out the covers. “Piggy wants to take a nap,” she said.

Once the tour of the house was complete, JJ brought Sage’s suitcase inside. Carrie said, “Her grandparents offered to bring the rest of her things down next week. I have their contact information here.” She rummaged through the file in her hands and produced a handwritten note with Savannah’s parents’ phone numbers. “They’ve been pretty helpful during all of this, but it’s still clear they aren’t going to be terribly involved. For Sage’s sake, I hope that changes.”

JJ took the paper, mentally groaning at the thought of contacting his ex’s parents. “I’ll get in touch with them.”

“Here is some paperwork to finalize everything.” Carrie handed him the full file. “There are also medical records and all her legal paperwork. You have my contact information and…” She sighed and looked around the house. “I think Sage will fit in well here. I know it will be an adjustment, but I really think she will thrive. You two will make great parents for her.”

Kie opened her mouth to correct her, but JJ responded, “Thanks. We’ll let you know if we need anything else.”

They made arrangements for Carrie to come back in a week to make sure Sage adjusted to living there, and then she left. Sage watched from the porch, eyebrows knit together as Carrie got in her car and pulled away from the house. 

“Now what?” JJ whispered to Kie. Now that Sage stood before them, real as life, the panic had settled back into his chest. This was a whole person he had to take care of and he had no idea how to do it. 

Kie said softly in return, “Why don’t you ask Sage if she’s hungry?”

“Why me?” 

Kie tilted her head and squinted her eyes at him. “You’re her father. You have to figure out how to take care of her.”

JJ gulped, but he moved to crouch next to where Sage stood at the top of the steps. “Hey, Sage,” he said gently. “Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?”

Her lower lip trembled briefly, but she nodded and followed him inside and to the kitchen. Thankfully, she was not a picky child, and she thoroughly enjoyed the half of a peanut butter sandwich JJ gave her - Kie was sure to check the paperwork three times to make sure she wasn’t allergic to anything. Once she finished eating, she turned to face Kie. “I think Piggy woke up and she’s scared to be all by herself.”

“Do you want me to go with you to get her?” Kie asked gently. Sage agreed. “While we’re in there,” Kie continued. “We can put some of your clothes in your closet.”

After a few moments in the other room, JJ heard Kie asking Sage what her favorite outfit was, which dress she liked the most, where they should put her toys. Sage’s voice was soft when she replied, but the fact that she was talking at all was a good sign. She seemed to like Kie, too.

He went down the hall, lingering in Sage’s doorway as she showed Kie all of her favorite clothes. She held up a green dress with flowers around the bottom and spun in circles. Her yellow curls bounced wildly with every movement. A lump caught in JJ’s throat; she looked so much like Savannah, but her entire energy screamed  _ Maybank. _ From the way she scrambled around the room as if she couldn’t move fast enough to get to where she wanted to go, to the way she laughed, a single dimple appearing every time she giggled. And her eyes, ocean blue and much too sad for four years old. JJ couldn’t help but wonder what would be different about that sad look in her eyes if he had been involved in her life from the beginning. If he had been there for Savannah would she have maintained a relationship with her parents? Would he have been there to see Sage’s birth? Would he have gotten back together with Savannah? Would he have been able to keep Savannah from dying? He shook his head.

Sage laid the green dress on Kie’s lap and smoothed it out. “My favorite color is green,” she said. “But my mama likes blue.” She stopped for a moment and chewed on her lower lip.  _ Damn,  _ JJ thought.  _ That’s Savannah.  _ Sage went back to smoothing out the dress. “What’s your favorite color, Kie?”

Kie hummed in thought for a moment. “I like yellow. Like sunshine and sand. And your pretty hair!” She playfully tugged at one of the little girl’s curls, and Sage smiled. 

“And yellow like his hair!” Sage pointed at JJ, who blinked in surprise. “What’s your favorite color?” She directed her question at him. 

“Um,” JJ paused in thought. Kie motioned for him to sit next to her on the floor and he did. “I like blue.”

“Like my mama.”

“Yeah, like your mama,” he said. Kie reached over and squeezed his hand. 

Sage stayed quiet for a moment. She picked up her stuffed pig and patted its head before handing it to JJ. “My Gramma says mama is in heaven now. She says it's really far away, so I have to come stay here.” She sighed an awfully big sigh for her tiny frame, then said, “Can I play with Duke?”

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Neither JJ nor Kiara should have been surprised at the amount of energy one Sage Maybank possessed, but by dinner time they were both exhausted. She had run around the garden with Duke for well over an hour and wanted to explore every bit of the house more than once and then insisted Kie play hide and seek with her stuffed pig. Instead of putting forth the extra effort to cook, JJ made the executive decision to order pizza, and Kiara did not argue. After he placed the call, he asked her, “Was I really that energetic growing up?”

Kie nodded. “I mean, I didn’t meet you until fifth grade, but yeah, pretty much.”

Dinner was blessedly uneventful. After cleaning up, Kie moved to the couch and flipped on the television. JJ checked the time. “Hey, Kie, don’t you think she should go to bed?”

Kie arched an eyebrow. “It’s only like seven-thirty, right?”

JJ rubbed the back of his neck. “I read a bunch of articles last night. Kids do better with earlier bedtimes.” As if on cue, Sage rubbed her eyes and let out a massive yawn. 

Kie blinked slowly. Quite frankly, she was impressed. She’d done some babysitting in high school, but she knew very little about taking care of children beyond that - JJ knew even less. She honestly had expected him to wing it and hope for the best. Instead, he’d been reading up on parenting. “Yeah, okay,” she said.

Bath time was an ordeal. Sage adamantly refused to wash her hair, no matter what JJ or Kie bribed her with. After a few rounds of arguing, JJ placed his hand over her eyes and dumped a cup full of water over her head. To Kie’s surprise, Sage cackled and asked for him to do it again. Kie still had to teach JJ the finer points of shampooing curly hair, as well as the importance of conditioner, but half the battle was won. Finally, Sage was clean, her hair was braided, and JJ and Kie were more wet than dry. Before they put her to bed, Kie pointed to JJ’s room and said, “If you need something, this is JJ’s room.” She pointed to her own room. “And this is mine.”

Sage nodded very seriously. Kie made sure she was tucked into her bed and that she was alright in the dark. They gently shut her door and did the Pogue handshake in celebration. “One night down!” Kie whispered. 

“Do you think she’s asleep?” JJ asked when they got to the kitchen. “I can finally have a beer?”

A confused look passed over Kie’s face. “Of course, you can have a beer. You could have had one earlier.”

JJ shook his head, avoiding Kie’s gaze as he went to the fridge. “Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good idea to drink around her.”

“JJ,” Kie said, crossing to him and leaning on the top of the fridge door. He handed her a beer but turned away quickly. “JJ, look at me.”

He moved slowly, hesitantly meeting her eyes.

“You’re not your dad,” she said simply. 

He ducked his head, unable to maintain eye contact, but he nodded once. He opened his mouth to respond when a soft cry floated down the hall. He set his beer on the counter and turned to go down the hall to Sage’s room.

“Do you want me to come?” Kie asked.

“I’ll let you know if I need you.”

The bedroom was pitch black when JJ opened the door. Sage squinted at the sudden intrusion of light from the hall. She sat up on the futon, tears streaming down her face, her stuffed pig clutched close to her chest. JJ left the door open slightly, a single beam of light illuminating the room before he crossed to her and sat on the edge of the futon. “Sage,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”

Sage’s shoulders shook as each sob wracked her small body. “I- I want - I want Mama.” 

JJ’s breath caught as he recalled nearly fifteen years ago when his mother had left. 

“When’s she coming back?” he’d asked his dad. 

“Hell if I know,” Luke had growled. At that point, JJ had lost count of how many beers his dad had had. 

That night he had cried. He was too big to cry, and he was too big to sleep with a stuffed animal, but he did cry and he clung tightly to the teddy bear he’d had since his first birthday. He half expected his mother to walk through the door and wipe away his tears with her cool hands - her hands were always cool and soothing - and then she would lay down next to him and hum until he fell asleep. But she never walked in. She never came back home. Luke only threw an empty beer bottle at his door and yelled at him to go to sleep. He never cried loud enough for his dad to hear again. 

“I know,” he said to Sage, nearly whispering. “I know, I’m sorry.” He tentatively placed a hand on her leg, simply willing to be present until she calmed down. 

The little girl’s sobs didn’t subside, but at JJ’s touch, she pulled herself out of the blankets and crawled over to him. She curled into his side, burying her face in his shirt. Gingerly, he scooped her up and placed her on his lap, unsure if he was doing the right thing. Was this how you comforted a crying child?

Within a few minutes, Sage’s sobs turned to soft hiccups. Her tears stopped falling, even though her breaths still shuddered. JJ sat on the edge of her bed, holding her until she fell asleep. 

Kiara became concerned when JJ didn’t return after a few minutes, so she ventured into Sage’s room to make sure everything was alright. 

“She’s asleep,” JJ whispered when he heard her enter the room. He spoke so softly she almost didn’t hear him. “I don’t know what to do with her.”

Kie helped JJ lay the little girl back in her bed. She stayed an extra minute at her side, fussing over the blankets and the stuffed pig. Finally, she was satisfied Sage was asleep and she carefully left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Neither she nor JJ felt like staying up chatting after the long day they had, so they quietly said their goodnights and went to their rooms.

***

Compared to the next three days, the first day with Sage had been surprisingly easy. She figured out very quickly that JJ and Kiara had no idea what they were doing, and she took full advantage of it. She rose with the sun, full of energy, and ran the house until they wrangled her into bed in the evening. The first morning, JJ woke early to find her climbing the kitchen counters to get to the cereal on top of the fridge. The evening after that, they decided to take a walk on the beach, which ended with Sage running headlong into the ocean, even after Kiara lectured her on staying out of the frigid water. The third morning, she woke up  _ before _ the sun rose, and, of course, the rest of the house had to be awake, too. Even Duke was exhausted from trying to keep up with her.

“Aren’t kids her age supposed to take a nap?” JJ asked on Sunday afternoon, collapsing on the couch. Sage was seated on the floor, trying to convince Duke to play fetch or tug-of-war. 

“Hell if I know,” Kiara sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back into the couch cushions. “It’s hard enough to get her to bed at night.” She relaxed in the brief moment of the silence, her eyes threatening to stay closed for quite a while if she gave in to sleep. “Shit,” she muttered. She clapped a hand over her mouth and opened one eye to make sure Sage hadn’t heard her slip-up. JJ snorted. “I have lessons at the music academy tomorrow,” she continued in explanation. She waved her hand at Sage, who was tugging a stuffed toy from Duke’s mouth with all her might. Duke’s tail wagged in glee. “What are we supposed to do with this little ball of energy while we’re at work?”

“Oh,” JJ said. Sage brought him the stuffed toy she had wrestled from Duke’s mouth and begged him to throw it. He did. “I guess it’s time to figure that out. But I told the shop I wouldn’t be in this week.”

“So we’ve got a little time,” Kie finished his thought. “I’ll start looking at preschools this evening.” 

“No, I‘ll take care of it.” If Kie was surprised, she did a good job of masking it. 

JJ called Mr. and Ms. Jones later that afternoon. The conversation with Mr. Jones lasted exactly three minutes and twenty-six seconds, pleasantries included. He asked how JJ was, barely allowing him enough time to respond properly, then proceeded to tell JJ to call Savannah’s mother to arrange to get Sage’s things. The conversation with Ms. Jones lasted a bit longer. Unfortunately, though Carrie had been under the impression they would be bringing all of Sage’s things to JJ, Ms. Jones insisted she didn’t have time to bring anything all the way to the Outer Banks. She would happily pack up the items and set them in her driveway, but that was as much effort she would put forward. “I guess we’re taking a day-trip to Durham,” JJ told Kiara, tiredly.

If adjusting to living with a four-year-old was difficult for JJ and Kiara, adjusting to a work schedule proved to be more difficult. “I have to go to work,” Kiara explained patiently for the fifth time that morning, as they sat down for breakfast.

“Why?” Sage asked, her eyes squinting with that same guarded look she had worn when she first arrived.

“Because being an adult costs money, and that’s how I make money,” Kie explained. “And I like working. It makes me happy.”

“Mama has work, too,” Sage muttered. She had mentioned her mother often over the weekend, with only a few meltdowns scattered among them. “That’s when I go to school.” Her blonde eyebrows furrowed deeply as she contemplated the implications of going to school in this new house. 

“Yeah, we’re gonna find a school for you soon, kid,” JJ said, placing a plate full of eggs and bacon in front of her.

“I can go to school with Payton and Marshall?” Sage asked, eyes brightening.

JJ and Kie made eye contact across the table in a panic. “Well,” JJ said, slowly, desperately trying to avoid another meltdown. 

“No, honey,” Kie said, apologetically. “You’re going to go to a new school where you can make new friends.”

“Okay.” She looked disappointed, but she did not cry. JJ breathed a sigh of relief into his coffee cup. Sage happily ate her breakfast and waved goodbye to Kie when she left. 

As soon as the door closed behind Kiara, Sage sniffled. Then the floodgates opened and she bawled. JJ tried everything he knew, which wasn’t much. Her stuffed pig worked for a short amount of time. Playing fetch with Duke cheered her up considerably after that, but no solution worked for long. 

Two hours later JJ texted Pope.

**JJ [11:36]:** _ She won’t stop crying. She wants Kie. _

**JJ [11:36]:** _ Or her mom. I can’t tell. _

**Pope [11:37]:** _ Where is Kie? _

**JJ [11:38]:** _ Work _

**JJ [11:38]:** _ I will try anything  _

**Pope [11:39]:** _ Hold on… _

**Pope [11:49]:** _ Shit! I thought you told my parents! _

**JJ [11:50]:** _ Bro what does that mean? _

**Pope [11:51]:** _ My mom is on her way over… _

**JJ [11:52]:** _ She’s coming here?! _

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. JJ opened it to see Yvonne Heyward standing on his porch. “JJ Maybank!” She cried cheerily, but with an edge to her voice that told him, he was in trouble. 

“Hey, Mama H,” JJ chuckled nervously, hugging her. “What brings you out here?”

“I think you know damn well what brings me out here, JJ,” Yvonne said, pulling back from the hug and flicking his ear. “I had to hear about this from Pope!” 

JJ ducked away from her, but he smiled. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Pope said she’s having a tough time today?” Yvonne smiled sympathetically.

JJ exhaled, the full force of his exhaustion bearing down on him. “Kie went to work and she’s been crying since she left.” He motioned for Yvonne to follow him into the living room. Sage sat on the couch, clutching her loyal stuffed pig, sniffling. JJ had turned cartoons on the television (Kie had already lectured him on choosing ‘age-appropriate’ television programs), but she didn’t seem interested. JJ gestured to her. “This is Sage.”

Yvonne knelt in front of Sage. The little girl shied away for a moment, but relaxed when Yvonne smiled at her. “Hey Sage,” she said gently. “I’m Mama Heyward. I was JJ’s foster mama.”

Sage raised an eyebrow, looking much older than four-almost-five for a moment. “You’re JJ’s mama?” She asked. She sniffled one final time.

Yvonne chuckled. “I was his foster mama. I took care of him like Kiara helps take care of you.” 

Sage warmed up to Mama H almost immediately - Yvonne had that way with children. Sage crawled in her lap and sat contentedly for some time. Later, Yvonne took over lunchtime, and JJ had to admit he missed her cooking. Once they cleaned up the dishes, Yvonne asked Sage to show her around her room and she ended up convincing her to lay down and take a nap. She then joined JJ on the back deck, leaving the back door open in case Sage cried out. 

“How did you get her to lay down?” JJ asked. “We’ve barely been able to get her to sleep at night.”

“You remember how much you slept after you moved in with us?” Yvonne chuckled. JJ offered her a glass of iced tea, which she took gratefully. “Sixteen years old and you were napping like a baby.” She shook her head with a broad smile on her face. “Sleep is healing, JJ. Sage has a lot to adjust to, and she’s more tired than you think.”

Even after Kiara returned from work, Sage stayed asleep. “Hey, Mama H!” Kiara said, joining Yvonne and JJ on the back deck. The three of them settled in to watch the sleepy winter ocean. “JJ didn’t tell me you were coming over today.”

“Sage lost her shit, so I called in backup,” JJ explained.

Kiara paused realizing they hadn’t told the Heywards about JJ’s daughter, but Yvonne waved her hand. “It’s nothing a little nap won’t fix.”

A significantly happier mess of blonde curls ran through the door onto the back deck and straight into Kie’s lap. “Kie! You came back!” 

“Of course, I came back!” Kie wrapped Sage in a hug. “Mama H told me you got to take a nap, how did you sleep?”

“Good,” Sage ducked her head but eyed Yvonne from under her long lashes. Yvonne let out a soft breath as she recognized a look she had seen from JJ over the years. “I like her,” Sage whispered to Kie. “She’s JJ’s mama.”

“Yeah, she is.” JJ didn’t bother correcting Sage this time. 

Yvonne offered to come back anytime they needed help, and, of course, offered up free babysitting at the drop of a hat. JJ walked her out to the gate after dinner while Kiara gave Sage a bath. 

“I wish you would have told us about her sooner,” Yvonne admonished gently. 

“I didn’t know anything about her until five days ago.” JJ scratched the back of his neck. “But I probably should have called y’all.”

“Damn right,” she chuckled. “She’s as much my grandbaby as any babies Pope will have. Though at this rate, I’m not sure he and Zack will have any kids. Do you know they haven’t even set a wedding date yet? They’ve been engaged three months already!”

JJ laughed along with her and promised to put some pressure on Pope to nail down a wedding date. He also promised to bring Sage by Heyward’s so she could be introduced to everyone. “You said her birthday was in two weeks, right?” Yvonne mused conspiratorially. “We’ll just have to see what we can do with that.”

***

On Wednesday, JJ jerked awake as a very small bomb landed on the end of his bed. “JJ, get up!” Sage cried. “We’re going to get a new bed today!”

JJ gasped as Sage scrambled up from the end of his bed. It took a moment for his eyes to focus on her green, no, blue eyes and calm his heart rate. He glanced at his clock: six-oh-five. “Sage,” he groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes. “The sun hasn’t even risen yet. It’s still night.”

“Nuh-uh.” Sage shook her head, her curls waving violently. He’d forgotten to braid her hair before bed, so doing her hair this morning would prove difficult. “The sky is turning pink. Kie said that’s when the sun is coming up.” As if to prove her point she ran over and tugged at the curtains covering the sliding door to the screened-in part of the deck. The very edge of the sky was indeed turning pink.  _ Savannah did always have to be right, _ JJ thought wanting nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep. Even Duke let out a harumph and readjusted. “Can I have hot chocolate?” Sage asked, crawling up to JJ’s head and poking his cheek. 

“You little sh-“ JJ started to say. He sighed and rolled out of bed, grabbing the t-shirt he had discarded on the floor the night before. “Fine, come on.”

At seven-thirty, Kie emerged from a shower, scrunching product in her hair. “Kie’s up!” Sage cried, jumping up from the floor where she had been coloring (crayons and coloring book courtesy of Mama H). “We can go now!”

“No, now it’s my turn for a shower,” JJ grumbled. He turned to Kie, “She’s been up since six.”

As far as four-year-olds and patience went, Sage had a fair amount of it. Kiara was able to distract her by playing with Duke until JJ was ready to go, but the car ride proved to be another beast to tame. 

“Where are we going?” Sage asked.

“We’re going to get your stuff and buy you new things for your room,” Kie said.

“When will we get there?” 

“Soon.”

“Are we going on the big boat?” Sage asked, already straining against her car seat straps to see out JJ’s truck windows. “Miss Carrie didn’t let me see the water.”

“It’s called a ferry,” Kie said. “Once we get settled in, I’ll take you out to see the water, okay?”

“Where are the fairies?” Sage asked when she and Kie stood at the railing looking out across the sound. 

“Fairies?”

“You said this was for fairies.”

“Oh, no, sweetie, this boat is called a ferry. There aren’t any fairies on it.”

“Are there at least mermaids?” The little girl waved her hands in exasperation.

“Maybe. If we look very carefully, we might see a mermaid.”

“We didn’t see any fairies  _ or _ mermaids,” Sage announced as Kiara strapped her back into her car seat. JJ arched an eyebrow, and Kiara just laughed. 

Sage had a tablet that entertained her for most of the drive to Durham, but by the end of the four hours, she was growing tired and hungry. She only complained a little, though, until she recognized the driveway they pulled into. “This is Gramma’s house!”

“Yeah!” JJ said. He lowered his voice to speak to Kie, “I told her we were coming today, but she didn’t say anything about seeing Sage.” 

True to her word, Ms. Jones had placed all of Sage’s things in boxes in her driveway. JJ began loading them into the back of his truck when she came outside. “JJ Maybank!” She said pleasantly, but there was disdain in her eyes. JJ hadn’t expected to be her favorite person after knocking up her only daughter. She glanced at the truck, where Kie sat in the front seat, with Sage in her lap. “Oh, is that Kiara Carrera? Are you two…?”

“Oh, uh, no,” JJ replied. “She’s just been helping out with Sage.”

Ms. Jones nodded. “How is Sagey settling in?”

“She’s doing fine,” JJ said. Some days were better than others, but there was no point in explaining all of that to Ms. Jones. If she cared to know how her granddaughter was doing, she would have stayed involved in her life. “She did want to see you though.” He waved for Kie to bring her out of the truck before Ms. Jones could say no. 

“Oh, those curls,” Ms. Jones sighed as Sage approached, uncharacteristically slowly. “Hello Sagey, how are you?”

Sage was hesitant to talk to her grandmother, so they ended up exchanging pleasantries all around before leaving. Ms. Jones eyed Kiara and JJ warily, raising her eyebrows at the easy way they interacted with one another. 

“That was exhausting,” Kie said softly as they pulled out of the drive.

Sage sat quietly, staring out of the window. She seemed sad, but there was something deeper than that, something heavier that JJ didn’t like to see. He knew for a fact no one had ever laid a hand on Sage - he’d checked in many times with Carrie and the DCS had never had reports of that. But verbal abuse was still abuse, and he got the feeling Sage had endured her fair share from Ms. Jones. If he could help it, she would never have to endure it again. “Hey, Sage,” he said. “You want ice cream with lunch?”’

The moment they entered the furniture store, Sage took off. She giggled as she weaved in and out of displays of beds, dressers, and bookshelves. She oohed and ahhed over every sparkly bed set and touched every soft pillow. “I swear, we need to get this kid a leash,” JJ muttered, scooping her off the fifth bed she’d climbed on. 

It took most of the afternoon to come to a consensus on furniture. Sage decided on all mismatched furniture, and Kiara convinced her to go with a nice white bed and dresser. They also picked up a small mint green bookshelf and nightstand. Sage insisted on green paint for her walls, and unfortunately, that shade of green was nearly neon and clashed delightfully with the furniture she’d chosen. “I don’t care,” JJ said. “As long as it’s not pink.” She also chose a bedspread and matching curtains with an obnoxious floral pattern that Kie thought epitomized her personality. 

At dinner, Sage spilled an entire cup of lemonade on her lap. “At least we went most of the day without a mess,” Kie sighed tiredly, changing her clothes in the backseat of the truck. Kie turned a cartoon on Sage’s tablet and got her settled into her seat. She fell asleep within the first hour of the drive back home. 

Kiara turned the radio up slightly but otherwise relished in the quiet filling the truck. “I didn’t realize how tiring parenting is,” JJ said. 

“My mom always said that’s how you know you’re doing it right,” Kie said, allowing her eyes to close. 

“Hey, Carrera, no sleeping on the job! The co-pilot’s one responsibility is to keep the pilot awake.”

“Well, I can’t do that without some good music,” she said, plugging her phone into the aux cord. 

It was after dark when they arrived home, and Sage was still soundly asleep in the backseat. “Kie, what do I do with her?” JJ asked, trying to figure out how to unbuckle her car seat. “I don’t want to wake her up.”

“Pick her up,” Kie said, pulling paint cans out of the back of the truck.

“What, just carry her inside?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t do that. What if I wake her up?” He’d figured out how to unbuckle the seat belt, and the little girl was threatening to slide right out of the truck if he didn’t pick her up. 

“She’s four, she’ll go right back to sleep. Just take her to her room and put her in bed.”

“That’s it?”

“Pretty much. Oh, and remember to take her jacket and shoes off,” Kie called over her shoulder as she brought more things from the truck to the house. 

“Do you have no faith in me?” JJ called back softly as Sage curled into his shoulder. 

“You just asked me what to do with a sleeping child,” she chuckled. “That’s arguably the easiest version of a child to take care of. Forgive me for my skepticism.”

After JJ laid Sage down, he started to go back out to his truck to unload the rest of the things, but found Kie had already done it. Now, she was seated in the living room, her hair tied up haphazardly. She was surrounded by pieces of the bookshelf and the instructions. “Wanna help me put this together?”

They finished putting everything but the bed together just as it neared midnight. “We can paint her room this weekend when you’re off work,” JJ yawned. Kie nodded sleepily, readjusting her messy bun. 

Kie had just finished getting ready for bed. In fact, she had just climbed in bed and was reaching for the lamp to turn it off, when she heard a soft knock at her door. “Yeah?” She called out. JJ came into her room, rather sheepishly. He had changed. 

“Sage started crying again,” JJ said, but that didn’t seem like all he wanted to say. 

“Did you want me to take care of her?” Kie asked, already climbing off her bed.

“No, no, I got her settled back down.” JJ ran a hand through his hair. Kie motioned for him to sit on the edge of the bed, and he did. “Am I doing the right thing, Kie?”

“What do you mean, JJ?”

“Am I the right person to take care of her?” He fished in the pockets of his sweatpants for the ever-present vape pen. “And this isn’t a money thing. Hell, I could give her the full-Kook childhood even your parents couldn’t afford if I wanted to.” Kiara chuckled and nodded. “It’s just-“ 

“You don’t know jack-shit about raising a little girl?” Kie finished his statement. 

“Pretty much.” JJ flopped onto his back on the bed, groaning. “In case you haven’t noticed over the years, but I barely know how to take care of myself.”

“I don’t know,” Kie said. “You kicked that minor stint of alcoholism that showed up when John B and Sarah went missing. You hardly smoke weed anymore, and you’ve almost kicked your nicotine habit.” JJ held up the vape pen and twirled it in his fingers, as if to prove her wrong. “Hey, I said almost,” Kie chuckled. “You did all of that and you have a house and a dog and your own damn business.”

“I got lucky, Kie. Damn, I got lucky. I would be out on the streets if the gold hadn’t come through, and you know it.”

“I don’t think that’s true. You’ve always cared for other people, and that was half the reason you started the repair shop in the first place. You’re loyal to a fault, dude, and that’s a pretty decent thing to be as a father.”

“I’ve got tons of my own shit to work through, Kie.” He sat up and leaned in earnestly, accidentally breathing a cloud of vapor in her direction. “This morning alone, the little shit scared the hell out of me. I almost drop kicked her into the next room.”

Kie chuckled, waving the vapor out of her face. “But did you actually do that?”

“No, I knew it was her.”

“See.” Kie smiled.

“No, but I don’t even know what kind of school she needs to go to. Is she in kindergarten yet? What if she gets sick and I don’t know how to take care of her?” He gave a sharp tug to his hair. 

“The school shit is in her file.” She waved her hand as she said it. “And we have great doctors in Kildare. If she gets sick, you’ll be able to take her to the doctor.”

“What if she gets hurt?”

“Kids get hurt,” Kie said gently. “It’s an unfortunate truth. And she is so much like you. She’s bound to skin her knees or break a bone or get a concussion. She’s a Maybank.” JJ grimaced, but a smirk played at the corners of his eyes. “We’ll be there for her with hugs, kisses, and bandaids. If it’s more serious, again, we have great doctors around here.”

JJ smiled for a moment, then he jumped to his feet and paced around Kie’s room. “Okay, but what about when she hits high school?”

“What about it?” Kie shrugged nonchalantly.

JJ paused and stared at her for a moment. “Was your memory wiped? I was high for ninety-five percent of high school and I still remember most of it.”

“Okay, so you’re worried she’ll experiment with weed and alcohol like we did? It’s not like we did the hard stuff.”

“True, but I’d like her to avoid that shit. Plus, I don’t know if you recall, we went on a fucking treasure hunt and got in big trouble with the cops. ”

“So you have that conversation with her. Tell her about the  _ Merchant,  _ and your record and everything. Be honest about where it took you and be a safe place for her to come to even if she makes mistakes.”

“What about sex, Kie? I had a lot of sex in high school.”

“You didn’t have that much sex.” 

“More than Pope! More than you, I bet.”

“Everyone had more sex than Pope! He was a virgin until college.” JJ laughed along with her, dropping back to sit on the edge of the bed again. “It all comes back to being honest… I’ll be frank with you, my parents weren’t nearly as honest with me about where they came from and what they experimented with in high school as they should have been. I went out and experimented a lot, and it hurt my relationship with my parents because I could never come to them with my mistakes and ask for help.”

“So it just comes down to being there for her and admitting that I make mistakes?”

“It’s not quite that simple, but that’s a good foundation.”

JJ laid back, closing his eyes. “Thanks, Kie. I couldn’t do this without you.”

They laid on her bed chatting softly until they eventually drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo... what did you think? Scream at me in the comments or on tumblr: @largedenominationsplease


	3. Chapter 2: The Birthday Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sage adjusts to her new school. An old friend comes back to town. A very special birthday is celebrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies... It's been three and half months since chapter two, but here I am!!! Thank you to the Jiara Group Chat for pushing me to finish this and hyping me up every time I shared an excerpt. And a very special thank you to Alexandra, for receiving all my late-night messages and brain-storming sessions, for beta'ing, and for loving this little patchwork family just as much as I do! (Go check out her works: acooper9716)  
> Enjoy!

JJ had never been a heavy sleeper. He could wake at the slightest noise, flash of light, or change in the atmosphere. His therapist said it was a learned response, but he preferred to think it was just a part of who he had always been. Waking with the sun was easy when it shone through the curtains in his bedroom, the surf calling to him from right outside his door. The sun didn’t wake him this time, though, the alarm on his phone did. The room was darker than normal, and in his half-conscious state, he shrugged it off, hit snooze, and rolled over, expecting to find Duke curled up on the other side of the bed. Instead, he found Kie, one hand tucked under her cheek, soundly asleep. He suddenly remembered talking with her late into the night and falling asleep sometime between cracking jokes about Pope’s sex life and the final moments before drifting off when conversation became soft hums and sleepy nods like they were kids at a sleepover again. 

He smiled, stretching and settling back onto his pillow. They hadn’t done this in a while, sharing a bed, not since their days at the Chateau with the other Pogues. Many nights, after a wild round of drinks or the weed JJ’s cousin hooked them up with they would crash wherever they landed. He’d shared a bed with all the Pogues more times than he could count, but this felt different. Kiara looked so peaceful, happy, safe, the years since they were teenagers only wearing on her face in the kindest of ways. Was that why he couldn’t take his eyes off her now?

At that moment, her eyes fluttered open, a slightly confused expression crossing her face before her eyes focused on him. “Hey,” he whispered. “Sleep well?”

She nodded, stretching her arms over her head, the tank top she wore to bed riding up. He caught his gaze gliding down over her waist and hip, the gap between her shirt and shorts exposing her smooth skin. He snapped his eyes back up to her face as she yawned, “You?” 

JJ hummed in agreement and shifted so his hand was behind his head. She looked at him with a quizzical expression. She was thinking. He knew the expression well, but he didn’t allow himself to dwell on what she could possibly be thinking about. He didn’t let his mind pause and consider the domesticity of the scene they were trapped in; the sun streaming between the blinds on a mussed-from-sleep bed and drowsy, soft good mornings exchanged in close proximity, messy hair and slowly blinking eyes gazing at one another in quiet appreciation. He didn’t think about how the bed was actually pretty narrow, so when he turned his head their noses practically brushed, or how her lips and cheeks were flushed from sleep.

Instead, he sat up, yawning perhaps a bit too dramatically and stretching. “Sage will probably be up soon,” he said, throwing the blankets off of himself and nearly hitting Kie in the face with them. She chuckled. “I’m going to grab a shower,” he said.  _ A cold one. _

***

Finding a school for Sage to attend proved to be a lot easier than JJ had anticipated, and not just because the island had limited options. Pelican Day School had some of the highest ratings in the state, and during the tour, Sage took to the teacher and the classroom almost immediately. Afterward, she rambled excitedly about all the toys and games to Kie, who hadn’t been able to come along on the visit. Everything seemed to be falling into place until the following Monday when she would start attending. 

JJ could barely keep his eyes open as he poured his coffee. Sage had been up constantly through the night, three times with nightmares, twice for reasons she couldn’t quite put into words, and once because she wet the bed - something she hadn’t done since she moved in with them. That last time he’d changed her clothes and let her fall asleep in his bed, rather than washing her sheets right away. She was still asleep, with only thirty minutes left before they had to leave. 

“Are you going to wake her up?” Kiara asked, moving robotically to finish packing Sage’s lunch. Despite JJ’s insistence, she’d gotten up nearly every time Sage had and had even cleaned her sheets before JJ got the chance to drag himself out of bed. “Or do you want me to?”

He finished the last of his coffee. “I’ll go get her. We’ll be late if she doesn’t get up soon.”

“Leave it to her to sleep in on the one day we have somewhere to be,” Kie chuckles. 

Sage’s brows were pinched together in her sleep, little arms clutching her stuffed pig as close as she could. Duke lay right beside her, head resting on her feet, only stirring when JJ sat next to the both of them. Before he could call her name, Sage shot up, tiny chest heaving, eyes wide as saucers. “Hey,” JJ whispered. “Hey, Sage, it’s time to get ready for school, okay?”

She nodded, breath still ragged. She shrugged off JJ’s hands as he tried to help her through putting her clothes on, brushing her teeth, washing her face. She didn’t say a word until she sat at the counter and Kie asked her what kind of cereal she wanted for breakfast. “Marshmallows,” she whispered.

“Lucky Charms it is,” Kie smiled. “And guess what? I packed a special treat for your lunch, but you have to wait until your teacher says you can have it, okay?”

The crease between Sage’s eyebrows softened a little bit, and she nodded. “Can I bring Piggy to school?”

JJ nodded. “Yeah, your teacher said you could bring a toy, but it might have to stay in your cubby until nap time.”

That didn’t appear to be exactly what Sage wanted to hear, but she didn’t throw a fit either. She only held Piggy closer, playing with one of his ears the whole drive to the school.

The teacher - JJ said she was called Ms. Gina - was bubbly and wore a colorful dress, and had a voice to fit with being a preschool teacher. She waved enthusiastically when Sage came to the door. The little girl darted behind JJ’s legs only peeking out when Ms. Gina called out, “Hello, Sage! Welcome! You ready to play with all the other Starfishies?”

Sage shook her head almost imperceptibly and clung to JJ’s leg. He picked her up. The teacher let the few other kids already there go back to playing by themselves, and came over to JJ and Kie. She kept her voice low, but full of the same energy, “Hey, Sage! The other kids are building huge towers. Do you remember Asher and Polly? They would love to help you build a tower.”

Sage shook her head again, but JJ carried her into the classroom and sat down on the floor near the other kids. “We can wait here until you’re ready to play,” Kie heard him say softly.

The teacher turned to Kie, offering a handshake. “Hi, I’m Gina. You must be Sage’s mom?” 

Kie shook her hand with a smile, but said, “Oh, no, I’m not her mom.”

“Oh,” Gina tried to find the right words to back out of the situation, but after a moment, she just sighed. “I’m sorry. We get all kinds of families in this school, and I still find a way to stick my foot in my mouth.”

“It’s alright. Did JJ explain Sage’s situation?”

“Not very much,” Gina lowered her voice a bit. “He said Sage had recently come to live with him, so I guessed it was divorce? He also said his friend would be on the list to pick her up. Is that you then?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Kie said. She didn’t want to overstep, so she decided not to explain any further. She’d leave that to JJ. Looking across the room, she noticed Sage had leaned her head against JJ’s chest. He was talking to her softly and gesturing to the other kids. She was clearly unsure about this new school, but whatever JJ was saying softened the worried look on her face and loosened her grip on Piggy.

“Here, let me get your information so my assistant knows you’re okay to pick Sage up,” Gina said, motioning for Kie to follow to her desk. It only took a moment to fill out the form, and by the time she finished, Sage had relaxed and finally stood up from JJ’s lap. “I think I can go play now,” she said quietly. 

“Do you want me to help you put Piggy in your cubby?” JJ asked. She nodded. Once the stuffed animal was placed safely in its place, JJ pressed a kiss to the top of Sage’s head. “Kie and I will be back after your nap, okay? Have fun!” She smiled timidly as JJ and Kie left.

“She’s going to be fine,” Kie reassured JJ on the drive home. “They’ll call if something happens.” He opened his mouth to respond, keeping his eyes on the road to mask the fear Kie saw creep across his face. “Nothing will happen, though. Okay?”

He sighed. He’d known Sage for all of a week and a half, and she already consumed his every waking thought and even some of his dreams. To be responsible for someone beyond himself, the sole person this little human could look to for care, safety, comfort - that was completely foreign to him. Growing up, he had only himself to take care of, maybe John B or one of the other Pogues if it was a particularly bad time, but for the most part, just himself. Wrapping his head around how to balance caring for Sage and not spending every single second worried something might happen to her proved more difficult than he’d originally thought. If anxiety gauged how good of a parent he was he must deserve father of the year. 

He spent the rest of the workday distracted, signing off on inspections and reports without reading them, vaguely grateful he could trust his employees with that kind of paperwork. After the third time checking the clock in fifteen minutes, he pulled out his phone. In the past, JJ would never have bothered anyone else with his troubles, but if he’d learned anything over the past couple of weeks, it was that he couldn’t do this alone. 

**JJ [9:30]:** _Sage started school today. Is it normal for me to be this worried about it?_

**Mama H [9:32]:** _ Yes. You should have seen Dad when Pope started school. He didn’t get anything done for about a week.  _

**Mama H [9:33]:** _ How much sleep did you get last night? _

**JJ [9:34]:** _ Good question… _

**Mama H [9:36]:** _ It’ll be fine, JJ. Bring that sweet baby around the store after school, so Dad can meet her. That’ll give you both something to look forward to.  _

**JJ [9:37]:** _ Will do. Thanks Mama. _

Mind put at ease, JJ was able to return to his work with a little more focus. He was elbows deep in the engine of a rusty old delivery truck when his phone chimed, reminding him it was time to pick up Sage. “Ah, shit,” he muttered, wiping his hands on his coveralls. “Hey, Ricky!” He waved to a young kid, one of his new hires. “Gotta run, finish this up for me? Have George inspect it when you’re done, and I’ll stop back by to sign off on it before you leave for the day.” The boy nodded and dove into the engine with an eager grin. 

Sage was crying when JJ came to pick her up. The assistant teacher, Darla, sat in a rocking chair holding her while some of the other kids sat sharing picture books. As JJ came to the door, Sage’s face lit up and she scrubbed at her cheeks to wipe the tears away. “JJ!” she cried, jumping off Darla’s lap. 

Darla followed Sage to her cubby to help her gather her things. She said to JJ, “I’m Darla, one of Gina’s assistants. I was expecting Sage’s dad to pick her up.”

“Yep, that’s me,” he replied, indicating his signature on the sign-out sheet. God, that was still a strange thing to admit.

“Oh!” she paused for a moment. “Right, okay. Well, Sage had a good day. Woke up from her nap a little disoriented, but that tends to happen on the first few days.”

JJ nodded as Sage, with her backpack on, began tugging on his hand. “JJ, let’s go.” The confused look on Darla’s face was not lost on him. “I wanna play with Duke.”

“Okay,” He turned to Darla, “Thanks. My friend Kiara should be picking her up tomorrow. You should have her information.” She nodded, so JJ asked Sage, “Did you say bye to your friends?”

The little girl pressed her lips together, brows furrowing. “I don’t have friends here.”

Sage stayed quiet on the car ride, only saying “Okay,” when JJ told her he had to stop by the repair shop before going home. 

“Did you have a good day?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she sighed deeply. “But Marshall and Payton weren’t there all day.”

“Well,” he started slowly. She’d talked about school with her friends back in Greensboro since they first mentioned the topic to her, and each time JJ and Kie had to gently explain that this was a different school. “You’re going to a different school now. You’re going to have to make new friends.”

“Mama didn’t tell me I have to make new friends,” she muttered stubbornly. There had been quite a few of those statements over recent days. Little comments about how different her life had been with Savannah, a few angry outbursts, a couple of times she’d even tried bribing JJ to take her back ‘home’ with a cookie or a very special drawing. She seemed to be teetering between a few of the various stages of grief - some awfully big emotions for an awfully small girl.

“Tell ya what,” JJ said, trying to catch her eye in the rearview mirror as he pulled into the shop. “After I’m done here, we can run down to Heyward’s and pick up something special for dinner tonight to celebrate your first day of school, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, fighting to keep a sour look on her face, but looking a little less annoyed with the entire day. JJ helped her unbuckle her seat belt and climb out of the truck. “What’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“The place we’re gonna go?” She took his hand as they crossed the repair bay to the office.

“Heyward’s. Remember Mama H? That’s her and Heyward’s store.”

“I like her.”

JJ nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

“JJ!” called a burly man, not much older than JJ himself. It was George, the shop manager. He had moved to Kildare a little over a year ago, with no connections, but a great resume. He’d helped to make some great improvements around the place. “Got someone here says they gotta speak to you, urgent.” He paused when he caught sight of Sage, who stared back at him defiantly, instead of hiding like she had that morning. “This the kid?”

“Sage,” JJ affirmed. He walked past George, into the office, to see a familiar figure leaning against the counter, a cigarette dangling from his fingers. The walls closed in and the air was sucked out of the room as JJ focused on the man standing before him. He was barely aware of Sage still clinging to his hand, shrinking back to hide behind him as she noticed the shift in his mood. “Dad?” 

“About damn time,” Luke’s gravelly voice seemed to echo in the small space. “You always keep your customers waiting this long?”

Still holding Sage’s hand, JJ crossed to the counter guiding her to sit on the floor with her back against the wall. “Stay here,” he said softly. She nodded. “What do you want?” He turned to Luke, noticing how unfocused his gaze was, how the smell of alcohol never really dissipated from the air around him, how bloodshot his eyes were. Yet JJ knew that, for Luke, he was still pretty sober.

“Now, come on, boy.” The sound that followed seemed to be Luke’s attempt at a chuckle. “Is that any way to greet your old man? It’s been a while, ain’t it?” 

JJ set his jaw, fighting to maintain eye contact, swallowing the urge to duck away from Luke’s watery blue-gray gaze. He heard Sage let out a shaky breath behind him and the pit in his stomach tightened. He wished she were literally anywhere but in this office with him. “Yeah,” he replied finally. “It’s been a few years.”

“Who’s the kid?” Luke raised an eyebrow in Sage’s direction. “Business so bad you’re babysitting now?”

“None of your business,” JJ ground out. “Why are you here?”

Luke’s eyebrows furrowed lazily as if his muscles were unused to doing anything quickly. He put the cigarette to his lips, a plume of smoke billowing from them when he opened his mouth to reply. “Can’t a man catch up with his son?” He stared past JJ at Sage’s small frame, shrinking back against the wall. “She’s yours,” he muttered, his eyebrows raised as if it were a question, even as his voice dropped to form a statement.

JJ stepped between Sage and Luke, blocking his father’s view. “How much money do you need?”

Luke coughed out another cloud of smoke, pretenses dropping. “Owe some money to McKinley. Got a busted bumper he won’t fix.” Somehow, JJ guesses it’s much more than a busted bumper that needs repairing. “Now, I ain’t looking for charity, just hoping a son would be willing to help out his old man.”

JJ sighed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes, shoulders tensing up as he waited for Luke’s reaction to his wordless response. None came. He turned and rapped on the window between the office and repair bay, motioning for George to come inside. “Take care of what the man needs,” he said, then, dropping his voice so Luke can’t hear, added, “No charge.”

“O-okay, boss.” George nodded with a confused frown. He took the keys to Luke’s truck and a clipboard and set about getting the repairs started. 

“Should be done by tomorrow afternoon,” JJ said, turning back to Luke. He didn’t bother asking if there was a phone number they could call when they finished, he knew there wasn’t. Luke didn’t acknowledge JJ’s words, choosing to continue analyzing Sage. The little girl clutched her stuffed pig close to her chest, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.

“There a reason I ain’t heard about her?” He nodded toward Sage again. She stared back at him with a defiant look in her eyes, the kind of look JJ wished he could give Luke, the kind of fire he knew she got from her mother, not from him, not after everything he had been through. With an edge to his voice that JJ knew all too well, Luke added, “You trying to deprive me of the privilege of knowing my own damn grandchildren?” 

Something inside JJ snapped.  _ His grandchildren? _ The man who was barely a father dared to lay claim to another helpless child simply because they shared blood? “Get out,” JJ snarled. 

“You use that tone of voice with your father?” Luke growled. He leaned across the counter, waving a grease-stained finger as close to Sage’s face as he could. “Now listen here, little girl, you better not treat your dad the same way he treats me, ya hear? The disrespect I got from this little shit.”

JJ knew better than to lay hands on his father, but at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to break that gnarled finger. “Don’t speak to my daughter that way.”

Luke straightened up, a blaze lit in his eyes that in the past would have JJ apologizing for his words, but now looked infinitely less threatening. Had this decaying, shadow of a man always been this weak? JJ set his jaw forcing himself to look into Luke’s eyes once more. The older man’s gaze wavered, only slightly, before he said, “I’ll be back in to pick up my truck tomorrow.” He didn’t move to leave, though, and after another moment of loaded silence, he added, almost wistfully, if that was an emotion Luke Maybank was capable of feeling, “Love to meet the missus, see more of the kid.”

“No,” JJ said, teeth clenched. The greasy, alcohol-soaked wisp of a human being standing before him had barely been a father, what made him think he had the right to be a grandfather? What gave him any indication JJ wanted his influence in Sage’s life? “No, you don’t get to have a relationship with her.”

Luke let out a sharp breath, lips settling into a defensive smirk. He didn’t bother with goodbyes as he turned on his heel and stalked out of the office. As soon as the bell above the door indicated he had left, JJ’s head sunk onto the counter, any energy he had completely drained from him. His lungs fought to fill themselves with air, shoulders heaving when he felt a small, soft hand pat his arm. “That guy’s not nice,” Sage muttered. “Piggy doesn’t like him.”

JJ lifted his head enough to meet her wide shining eyes. He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I agree with Piggy.”

Both he and Sage drove to Heyward’s in silence. Each breath struggled its way in and out of his lungs, his heart still pounding as if he had been fighting for his life.  _ She’s safe, he didn’t touch her, she’s fine _ , he reminded himself, glancing at Sage often in the rearview mirror. She stared out of the window, small hands folded neatly in her lap, a slight pout on her lips as she watched the bare trees pass. She looked almost wise, lost in thought, fear nowhere to be found on her face, though JJ figured the day’s events would affect the coming night’s sleep. She still didn’t say a word as they pulled up to the store and walked inside, though she did smile shyly when Heyward offered to take her to look at the new shipment of toys they got in. Yvonne took one look at JJ and wrapped her arms around him shaking shoulders, as he let himself cry for the first time in a long time. 

***

It wasn’t late, the sun hadn’t even started to set, yet. But JJ had said he’d be back with Sage by four and it was pushing four-thirty. Kiara knew better than to worry about him, he probably got distracted at the shop or stopped off at Heyward’s, but here she was, thumb hovering over his name on her phone, checking out the window for his truck. She hadn’t been like this before, she’d never considered herself the type to wait anxiously by the door for someone to come home, but ever since hearing about Savannah a knot tightened in her stomach when he wasn’t on time. Duke seemed to sense her growing anxiety, nudging at her leg with the perfect sad look in his eyes. “Hey, bud,” she smiled, crouching down to scratch his ears with both hands. “Be honest with me: am I being crazy?”

As if on cue, a car door slammed, and Duke let out a single, obligatory bark. Kiara opened the door to let the dog out to greet his people. Sage had a skip in her step as she dragged her backpack and Piggy up the stairs, mood much improved from that morning. “Hi, Kie!” she cried. “We have pie! And Papa H let me have a yoyo!” 

Kie smiled, watching the little girl stop in the middle of the porch and start digging in her backpack for the yoyo she mentioned. She turned to JJ, “You took her to Heyward’s?”

JJ cleared his throat, but his voice still trembled slightly as he said, “Yeah, had to get something to celebrate the first day of school.” Kie noticed the shake in his hand as he raked it through his hair, the red rimming his eyes that she knew all-too-well. She took the bag from Heyward’s from him, placing her free hand on his shoulder, silently asking  _ what happened? _ He shook his head just barely, pressing his lips together in a tight, sad smile. He leaned around her to look at Sage, “Ready for dinner, kiddo?”

Sage triumphantly held up a sparkly purple yoyo and nodded. She marched inside, leaving her open backpack on the porch. JJ opened his mouth to call her back, but instead picked it up himself and followed her in the house.

“How was school?” Kie asked.

Sage pressed her lips together, looking awfully like her father in that moment. Kiara knew that expression. She’d get no information out of Sage any time soon. So she tried a different question, “Did you get to see where JJ worked?”

The crease between the little girl’s brows deepened along with her frown. “There was a bad man there.”

Kie’s eyes widened as she looked to JJ for an explanation. He shrugged, one shoulder rising as he shook his head as if to get rid of a bad memory. He ran his tongue over his upper lip before saying, “Luke.”

She crossed to where he stood at the kitchen counter, uttering a soft, “JJ.”

He smiled, a tight expression that was more like a grimace than anything. “It’s fine, Kie.” It was not fine. “Just needed a repair. It was all business.” That was bullshit and she knew it. “I’m not worried about it. It’s not a big deal.” He was wrong, that would be the first thing his therapist brought up at next week’s session.

Kie opened her mouth to say something else, though she hadn’t quite figured out what that would be when the door opened, and Sage’s voice said, full of indignation, “Who are you?”

JJ darted toward the door, practically sliding into it as he skidded to a stop, and crouched down in front of her. “Sage!” he cried, placing his hands on her shoulders to turn him to face her. He stopped then, realizing how close he was to yelling. He cleared his throat and tried again, his voice softer “Hey, Sage, you gotta let me or Kie open the door for people, okay? It’s not safe to open the door for strangers.” She nodded, her eyes wide. JJ just wished his heart would stop racing. A soft chuckle brought him back to reality and the reason he was by the door in the first place. 

His oldest friend stood in the doorway, shaking his head at the scene before him. “Dude, I wouldn’t have pegged you as a helicopter parent,” John B said. JJ laughed, pulling him in for a hug, a good sixty percent of the tension in his shoulders melting away. 

“John B?” Kie rounded the corner. “Oh my god, I didn’t know you were coming!” She hugged him as well, shivering in the brisk February air blowing in through the open door. “Come on, we were just about to have dinner!” 

Sage moved out from where she had been hiding behind JJ, eyeing John B skeptically. “You must be Sage,” John B said, crouching down to meet her eyes. “Your dad has told me a lot about you.”

“You mean JJ,” she replied, playing with the hem of her shirt. 

“Um, yeah, sure.” John B glanced up at JJ who shrugged dismissively. “I’m John B. I guess I’m kind of like your uncle.”

“I never had an uncle before.” A soft smile appeared on her face as she tossed her curls over her shoulder, turning to walk back to the kitchen. “Kie, I’m hungry!”

“Well, good! Dinner’s ready.”

Sage looked back over her shoulder, bringing a hand to her mouth and whispering loudly to John B, “We have pie, too!”

After dinner, Kie told JJ she would get Sage ready for bed while he cleaned up. Once they had left the room, JJ asked, “So what brings you back to the good old Outer Banks? I thought you and Sarah weren’t moving back until spring.” He offered John B a beer.

“We’re not, officially,” John B replied, taking the bottle. “But the last round of renters over at the Chateau really trashed the place. It’s gonna take a lot of work to fix up.” His voice trailed off for a moment, then he added, “Plus, Sarah told me I should check in on y’all.”

“There it is! Doesn’t she trust me?” JJ laughed, knowing full well she didn’t. “She knows she can at least trust Kie, right?”

“I think she’s more nosy than anything,” John B chuckled. “The kid’s been here, what? A week? And we haven’t heard hardly anything from you two.”

JJ crossed to the couch, flopping down and allowing his eyes to close for just a moment. “Apparently kids are fucking exhausting.” John B followed him, sitting in the opposite armchair.

“You got that right,” Kie said, walking back through the kitchen to grab herself a beer. “She’s having a hard time settling down.” She curled up on the couch next to JJ, letting her arm drape across the back of the couch, her fingers finding their way into his hair. He leaned in to her touch subconsciously. If John B raised his eyebrows as he tilted his beer back, neither of them noticed. 

“Figured she would,” he muttered.

“Tough day?” John B asked.

“First day of school,” Kie said, but JJ just shrugged, shaking Kie’s hand out of his hair. “Plus, um…” She glanced over at JJ who pressed his lips together but didn’t discourage her from continuing. “Luke stopped by the shop today. Didn’t make a great first impression on Sage.”

John B’s eyebrows drew together, fully understanding her meaning without any further explanation. “Don’t think he’s capable of making a good impression, period.”

JJ cleared his throat. “How long you in town for, JB?”

“Oh, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Well, this is it, I guess. I’m back for good.”

“Really?” Kie’s face lit up. “What about Sarah?”

John B nodded. “She’ll be up once her contract is up in April. I’ll go back and forth a few times to help her pack up, but between these shitty tenants we just had to kick out and the second generation Pogue surprise, we decided I was needed more here.

“Can y’all survive being separated that long?” JJ smirked as he teased his friend, but his words lacked their usual bite and fire. Kie shifted in her seat, draping her legs over his and he absently let his hand rest on her calf, thumb rubbing small circles into it. 

“Probably not,” John B chuckled. “I don’t know what I would do without her.”

A very small sniffle drifted down the hallway from the bedrooms, followed by Sage shuffling into the living room, dragging Piggy by one leg. Wordlessly, she crossed to JJ and climbed over Kie’s legs to sit in his lap. “You good, kid?” he murmured, pushing her hair out of her face as she leaned against his chest. 

“‘S too dark,” she whispered. Even as she said those words, her eyelids drooped. She tucked Piggy under one arm and buried her face in JJ’s shirt as he stroked her hair.

“Do you want me to take her back to bed?” Kie asked softly, pulling her legs back and resting her arms on her knees.

“Nah,” JJ replied. “She’s fine.”

Only a few minutes later, Sage was sound asleep and she stayed that way, curled into JJ’s chest while the three adults caught up. John B found himself staring at the little patchwork family before him. He vaguely remembered being that small, his own father carrying him to bed when he would fall asleep on the couch, running into his dad’s room when a particularly bad storm rolled through, poring over maps and charts alongside him, even when he couldn’t understand them. He knew JJ hadn’t had that growing up. The security of knowing you could crawl into your parent’s arms when the world got too loud, their heartbeat soothing you to sleep. More than once that evening, John B felt a lump lodge in his throat as he watched his best friend provide just that for his own daughter. JJ had been adamant: having a family just wasn’t in the cards for him. But clearly, he had read those cards wrong.

Kie walked him to the door later that night while JJ went to lay Sage back in her bed. “He’s doing great,” John B said softly.

Kie smiled, slow and sweet, a smile full of pride and admiration. “Yeah, yeah he is.”

“I’m proud of him.”

“Me too.”

“Let me know if y’all need anything.”

“Of course.” Kie hugged him as he stepped out the door. “Thanks for stopping by. I think you really helped to cheer JJ up.”

“Anytime, Kie.” They did the Pogue handshake like it was second nature - something they always fell back to, no matter how long they had been apart. “And hey, if either of y’all are looking for a way to kill some time, I could use some help getting the Chateau back in order. Besides, you gotta introduce our newest member to Pogue HQ.”

“Oh, of course!” Kie chuckled. “Good to have you back, John B.”

“Good to be back.” They hugged one more time, then John B left. 

As Kie walked down the hall to her room, she caught sight of JJ standing in Sage’s doorway. “She made a noise,” JJ whispered by way of explanation. “Thought she might wake up again.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, offering him a reassuring smile. “She’ll be fine. Get some sleep.”

He sighed, tearing himself away from his sleeping daughter. “Yeah, okay.” He turned away for a moment, then back to Kie, pulling her into a hug. She froze for a moment before wrapping her arms around him in return. “Thanks,” he muttered against her hair. “For everything.” Kie smiled against his shoulder, holding him a bit tighter in response. 

***

Sage’s birthday was coming up rapidly - that Saturday in fact. It was also Valentine’s Day, not that JJ had had to worry about that particular holiday in about five years - or that he had bothered with it much before then either. Planning the perfect birthday party for a five-year-old on one of the holidays he actively ignored seemed daunting. 

“What am I supposed to do, Kie?” he grumbled on Wednesday after dropping Sage off at school. “I barely like my own birthday.”

Kie shrugged, pulling her hair into a ponytail. This was the one morning the both of them had off work that week, so they’d decided to take advantage of a child-free moment and the surprisingly good swells this February day had granted them. “I don’t know.” She twisted her mouth to the side as she tugged at the sleeves of her wetsuit, thinking. “It’s her first birthday without her mom. I feel like it might suck no matter what we do.”

“Thanks for the encouragement, Kie,” JJ rolled his eyes. “You’re a real peach.”

“Shut up.” She took off down the beach, diving into the waves, letting the cold water wash away her worries and sap the exhaustion from her bones. JJ wasn’t far behind. In true North Carolina fashion, the sun beat down from a blue sky in complete opposition to the frigid water and chilly breeze. A much younger, much more reckless Kiara might have stayed out surfing for hours even in that weather, but this Kiara was older, a little more tired, and honestly a little out of practice. She wobbled a bit on her first wave, got her footing back on the next few, and wiped out completely on the last one. The water took her breath away as it crashed over her head. She came up spluttering. Her ankle-strap tugged on her leg painfully as her board tried to wash back toward the shore.

“Nice one,” JJ laughed when their feet were back on the beach.

“Hey, I saw you bite it on that first swell,” she countered with a smile. A soft breeze blew in, making her teeth chatter.

“You tried to drop in on me, what was I supposed to do?” He shook his hair out, sending water droplets spraying over her like tiny bits of ice. 

She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. “Let’s go in, it’s freezing.”

“What I wouldn’t give for a good old Pogue bonfire right now,” JJ mused as he picked up both of their boards and made the trek back up the beach to the house.

“Hey, wait!” she said, sprinting to catch up with him, an idea forming in her brain. She passed him and began walking backward so she could face him. “A bonfire is a great idea for Sage’s birthday! She’s always wanting to be on the beach, but it’s been too cold.”

JJ tilted his head. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “Yeah, I think she’d like that.”

“Great! I’ll run to the store on Friday and pick up some stuff for it.” It might not have been the perfect princess birthday party most four-almost-five-year-olds dreamed of, but JJ had no doubt Sage would love it. She was new to life on the Banks, but she was also a Maybank. Saltwater ran through her veins, and a birthday party on the beach seemed only natural.

***

“What’s that mean?” Sage asked on Friday morning, pointing to the calendar hanging on the wall. Kiara had insisted they put it up so they could keep track of each other’s schedules now that they had to coordinate picking up Sage from school. Sage had been asking without fail what day it was ever since.

“What does what mean, sweetie?” Kiara asked as she poured her second cup of coffee. It had been a long week.

Sage pointed again, leaning over the counter. “There’s a little pink heart on that square.”

“Well, I like to mark very special days so we don’t forget them. Do you remember what I said today was?”

“Friday!” Sage cried gleefully, bouncing in her seat. JJ reached over from where he sat and gently pulled her back onto her chair. “No school tomorrow! Is that why there’s a heart?”

“It’s a different kind of special day,” Kiara said with a sparkle in her eyes. “We get to have a party to celebrate someone very special.”

“Is it my party?” The little girl practically vibrated with excitement. “Like a birthday party? My birthday is February fourteen!” 

“Yeah, that’s tomorrow.” JJ smiled as Sage squealed and jumped up, nearly falling off her stool. “Hey, calm down and finish your breakfast, we gotta get to school.”

Sage shoved a large spoonful of cereal in her mouth. “Do I get presents?” she asked around the food. “And cake?”

JJ nodded, and Kie said, “I’m sure you will.”

Sage kept a wide grin plastered on her face the whole ride to school, and later that day when Kie came to pick her up, that same smile was still there. She asked close to a hundred questions over dinner: who would be there? How many presents would she get? Would Duke be able to come? Will a birthday fairy give her wishes? How long does it take for birthday wishes to come true? Many of these questions were repeated during her bath and bedtime. Finally, as he tucked her into her bed, JJ said, “Okay, no more questions. Time to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep, JJ!” she said, very solemnly.

“Why not?”

“I’m too excited!” She bounced on her knees for a second, waving her hands (and Piggy) over her head.

“Well,” JJ gently laid her back in her bed, pulling her blankets up under her chin. “If you don’t try to go to sleep, the birthday fairy can’t come.”

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah. The birthday fairy can only come if you stay in your bed. Kinda like Santa.”

“Okay, JJ,” Sage said, nodding. She scrunched her face up, closing her eyes tightly. 

JJ chuckled softly, patting her head before he turned to leave the room. “Night, kiddo.”

Every other day that week, JJ and Kie had to wake Sage up to get ready for school, but on Saturday she rose with the sun. This time, she dove on the end of Kie’s bed and scrambled up to her face. “Kie,” she whispered, much too loudly. 

Kie kept her eyes closed as she muttered, “What? It’s not morning yet.”

“Yeah huh. It’s my birthday.”

“Really?” Despite her best efforts to stay asleep, she felt herself waking up. “How old are you now?”

Sage tapped her cheek. “You gotta look.” She held up her hand, all five fingers spread wide. “This many.”

Kie cracked open one eye. “Wow, five? You know five-year-olds sleep in, right?”

Sage fixed her with an unimpressed look. “Worth a shot,” Kie sighed and stretched, throwing the blankets off. Before she could stop her, Sage had taken off back down the hall to JJ’s room, and Kie heard him groan as the birthday girl insisted he wake up. 

Sage requested pancakes for breakfast, so Kie pulled a chair over to the counter and had her help stir the mix. Entirely too many chocolate chips were added, resulting in a very sticky five-year-old by the end of the whole ordeal. Kie couldn’t help but laugh as she watched JJ try to clean chocolate off Sage’s face. She was laughing so hard, she didn’t hear her phone ringing. Three missed calls from her mother. The smile faded from her face as she looked at the notifications.

JJ tossed Duke’s tennis ball down the hall, shaking his head with a chuckle when Sage took off after it as well. “You okay, Kie?” he asked, noticing her pinched brow. 

“Yeah,” she said, smiling and setting her phone down. “Missed some calls from my mom. She’s probably pissed I canceled Sunday brunch again. I told her I would be busy all weekend, though.”

Sage ran back over to JJ, bouncing in place as she asked, “When can I open my presents?” 

“When John B and Mama and Papa H get here,” Kie answered. Sage stuck her lip out in a fake pout that didn’t last long before she was distracted by Duke returning the tennis ball to her feet. 

Right before the others were set to arrive, JJ asked Sage if she wanted to help him build a bonfire on the beach. She happily dragged exactly one log behind her and ended up sitting on it while JJ built the fire. As the flames sprang to life, she stretched out her hands to the warmth, rubbing them together like she had seen in the movies. After a moment, she looked up to JJ and asked, “Will my mama come to my birthday party?”

JJ sat down next to her slowly, chewing on the edge of his lip. “Well, Sage,” he cleared his throat. This question wasn’t new. She’d asked about Savannah many times over the last two weeks, but it never got any easier to give her an answer. “We’ve talked about your mama a lot, remember.”

Sage nodded. “She’s in heaven. And that’s really far away. It’s taking a long time for her to come back.” Tears pooled in her wide blue eyes, threatening to spill over, and JJ thought she must understand what was going on a lot better than she let on. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth as JJ had seen Savannah do a million times, as he had seen her do the last time he’d spoken to her, as she had done right before she left the Outer Banks for good. “Mama’s not coming to my birthday,” Sage said finally, a single tear slipping down her cheek, rosy from the cold. JJ pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her as she cried, only the sounds of the crackling fire and the crashing waves to muffle her soft sobs. 

She nestled further into him as her sobs began to subside. JJ alternated between studying the flames before him and her soft curls just below his chin. He briefly wondered what her other birthdays must have been like. Savannah always liked a good party, and it seemed like Sage was the same way. Her first birthday would have been a huge to-do, more for the adults than anything. He thought about how small she must have been then, all pudgy hands and dimpled knees and those big green, no blue, eyes. Mrs. Jones had given him photo albums when they’d picked up her things, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to look at them yet. To see Savannah’s face shining out of memories he hadn’t been apart of. To see the years he missed watching this little girl in his lap grow up - his little girl. “I’m sorry, Sage,” he whispered against the top of her head.

Father and daughter sat by the fire for a while longer, until Kiara came out and called them back to the porch. Yvonne and Heyward had arrived with an armful of presents and a cake with very pink frosting. Sage’s somber mood mostly faded away as her honorary grandparents gushed over her, and even JJ found a smile returning to his face as he watched them. She found great joy in reminding them of how old she was now and sticking her fingers in the frosting on the cake, something John B got a kick out of when he arrived, too. She carefully counted her presents, coming to a total of twenty-four, though she didn’t reliably know her numbers past ten and she definitely counted three of them twice.

As the sun sank slowly behind them, the small group roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. JJ and Kie realized that having a five-year-old around a bonfire was slightly more stressful than anticipated, especially when her marshmallow caught fire and her solution was to hold the roasting stick above her head. But Papa H thoroughly enjoyed helping to wrangle her, teaching her how to carefully roast the marshmallow and make the perfect s’more. When Pope and Zack FaceTimed later that evening, Sage smiled and waved, but quickly lost interest in talking further with these two men she had never met before. Finally, after way too much sugar was consumed and all the presents were opened, Sage curled into Yvonne’s lap, a content smile on her face as she watched the bonfire die down.

“I think it’s bedtime,” Kie said softly.

Sage shook her head with a yawn, but Yvonne said, “I think Kie is right. What did you think of your birthday, baby?”

Rubbing her eyes, Sage said, “It wasn’t my best birthday.” She let out another big yawn, a sleepy grin settling on her face afterward. “But it was pretty good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it! Hopefully, it won't take me almost four months to give y'all the next chapter.  
> As always, leave those kudos and comments to let me know what you think! Or you can come over to my blog and scream at me about OBX or almost anything: @largedenominationsplease <3

**Author's Note:**

> So, anyway, there we have it. I’ve always liked the idea of JJ being some random girl’s baby-daddy and, of course, I needed Kiara to be along for the ride.  
> Let me know what you think, and as always, you can come scream at me on Tumblr: @largedenominationsplease!


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